/soy/ - Soyjaks

Every single day of my life is the same.
I sit here in front of my computer, type soyjak.st in my url bar, and begin browsing. For hours and hours, I bump gems. I participate in raids. I used to try to make OC or post interesting threads, but no one ever replies, so now i just spam bait. Every once in a while someone falls for my bait thread, and maybe in that short moment, they were seething. Typically, the thread quickly dies and no one even cares. Most of the time, I just gaze at the catalog, watching my threads slowly near the bottom of the page. I don't have it in me to samefag in my own threads to keep them up or become an active lolcow namefag on the booru for attention. I don't have the same energy I had when I was 17. I feel really frustrated. Sometimes I might talk with other so-called "teens" on the 'cord using voice chat. We call each other friends, but something about our relationship is very hollow. I feel like I can only laugh and have a good time if the people I'm laughing and having a good time with are using soyspeak. I hate my mom. I hate my dad. I am not normal. I feel depressed, like, this is not healthy. And it's really hard to find the words for these emotions. I think we need new words for what it’s like to live life on the sharty because the words we normally use to describe our feelings were invented by people who lived in the real world, not by people on the sharty. Like for example, I kind of feel like I’m bored, but “bored” is not the right word because I’m constantly entertaining myself and staving off boredom. When you are bored, you can at least think. I can’t think because my brain is foggy and filled with soyspeak and funny wojaks I’ve seen. I also sort of feel tired, but I’m not actually tired because I can never sleep. People blame it on the blue light of the screen, not getting sun, or lack of exercise, but I think the problem is that a certain energy remains in me that is not supposed to stay inside and that we are not designed to have in us. I also often feel like I’m doing work, but I’m not doing anything that would contribute to my future in any meaningful way. I just create OC, and my reward is people on the bald man with glasses website finding it funny. Neither work nor leisure. The one normal feeling I definitely can feel is seethe. I need seethe. It’s the only thing that gets this tension out of me, and I basically use any excuse to start seething. I think I can say that I love seething, I love leaking, and I love falling for bait on purpose. I am constantly seeking out bait that make me seethe and getting more and more sensitive to leaking my clitty. So in a certain way, all the obsessed jarty-, shemmy-, and twittercucks on the sharty are needed. And even though I go ape and clittyleak at the most obvious bait, I actually really need these baiteralds to exorcise all these bad feelings.