/soy/ - Soyjaks

i went to a party the other night dressed in full girlmode. it was the first party i’ve really ever been too, also the first time i’ve fully girlmoded in public. And arguably things went well, no one said anything bad or misgendered me, girls were coming up to me being friendly and trying to make small talk, also my bf later told me he saw some other guys keep taking glances at me. i should be happy, even just happier, but i'm not, i feel empty inside. i "made it", but so what? i'm still autistic af and can't talk or make eye contact with people, i don't have a future planned or jobs or really any hobbies/interests i'm passionate about. i just feel empty. i thought being a real woman would fix some of my problems and maybe fix my inability to properly connect to other people but it didn't. i pass now but so what. before i was a depressed boymoder and neet, now i'm just a depressed girl and neet, there's no real difference