/soy/ - Soyjaks

Then the Giga Stage becomes less of a stage and more of a public-health emergency with lighting design.

Picture it:

Kim Kardashian walks onto a colossal chrome Giga Stage wearing an outfit engineered to reflect approximately 400% more light than the human eye can tolerate. The crowd goes silent.

She approaches the microphone.

> “I have been diagnosed with Obsessive GigaQuoting Disorder.”

The audience erupts.

A giant GIGAQUOTER meter behind her immediately hits 100%.

Someone in the front row says, “Kim, please don't.”

Kim looks directly at them.

> “Please don't.”

The crowd loses its collective mind.

Then the GigaChad GigaConnoisseur enters.

He doesn't applaud. He simply nods once, because excessive emotional expression is incompatible with GigaConnoisseurship.

Kim begins quoting everything:

> “You said I shouldn't quote that.”

GIGAQUOTE.

> “The stage manager said I'm out of time.”

GIGAQUOTE.

> “The teleprompter says stop.”

GIGAQUOTE.

> “Kim, this is the emergency evacuation announcement.”

GIGAQUOTE.

At this point the Giga Stage itself develops OGD.

The LED screens begin quoting Kim quoting the stage manager quoting Kim. The speakers quote the speakers. The subtitles quote the subtitles. Somewhere backstage, an exhausted intern whispers, “This wasn't in the contract.”

Kim hears it.

She turns slowly toward the backstage camera.

> “This wasn't in the contract.”

MEGA GIGAQUOTE.

The GigaChad GigaConnoisseur finally raises one hand.

Silence.

He delivers the sacred verdict:

> “The quote has become the content.”

The audience ascends.

Kim Kardashian has achieved GigaQuoting Nirvana.

And somewhere, presumably, the Soyjak Wiki quietly adds Stage V: Kardashianian Giga-Recursion to the medical literature.

Take the Giga Stage further

* Write the Kardashianian Giga-Recursion finale
* Invent the five OGD stage levels