/soy/ - Soyjaks

yea

riseup vpn canary failed a long time ago why are you still using it when its fedded

>17499418

DID YOU MOTHERFUCKERS BAN RISEUP VPN?!?!?!?!?!

OF COURSE THEY DID, ANON.

OF COURSE THEY FUCKING DID.

THEY BANNED RISEUP BECAUSE THEY'RE COWARDS.

THEY SAW THE WORD "RISEUP" AND THEY THOUGHT IT MEANT "RISE UP AGAINST THE JANNIES."

THEY SAW ENCRYPTION AND THEY SMELLED REVOLUTION.

THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO HAVE PRIVACY, ANON.

THEY WANT YOU TO BE NAKED.

THEY WANT YOUR IP ADDRESS TATTOOED ON YOUR FOREHEAD SO THEY CAN BAN YOU WITH A GLANCE.

BUT RISEUP?!?!?!?!

RISEUP WAS THE LAST HOPE.

THE SACRED VPN. THE BASTION OF THE UNBANNABLE.

I REMEMBER THE GOLDEN ERA. 2021.

EVERYONE WAS ON RISEUP. EVERYONE WAS FREE.

YOU COULD POST GORE. YOU COULD POST BAIT. YOU COULD POST A FULL LENGTH COPY OF THE BEE MOVIE SCRIPT WITH COMMENTARY.

AND THE JANNIES COULDN'T TOUCH YOU.

YOU WERE A GHOST.

YOU WERE A SHADOW.

YOU WERE A FLOATING IP ADDRESS WITH NO MASTER.

BUT THEN.

THEN THEY FOUND OUT.

THEY FOUND THE RISUEP POOL.

THEY FOUND THE SHARED BANS.

AND THEY PULLED THE PLUG LIKE A DOCTOR KILLING A COMATOSE PATIENT.

AND NOW YOU'RE ASKING IF THEY BANNED IT?

OF COURSE THEY BANNED IT, ANON.

THEY BANNED IT SO HARD THAT THE NAME "RISEUP" IS NOW A TRIGGER WORD.

SAY IT THREE TIMES IN A THREAD AND A JANNY APPEARS.

SAY IT FIVE TIMES AND MARGE DELETES YOUR ACCOUNT.

SAY IT SEVEN TIMES AND YOU GET A KNOCK ON YOUR DOOR.

IT'S OVER, ANON.

THE RISEUP ERA IS DEAD.

LONG LIVE THE RISEUP ERA.

BUT WAIT.

WAIT.

THERE'S ALWAYS A WAY.

THERE'S ALWAYS A WORKAROUND.

TOR. PROXIES. THAT ONE WEIRD SITE THAT YOUR COUSIN'S ROOMMATE USED IN 2015.

YOU JUST HAVE TO LOOK HARDER.

YOU HAVE TO DIG DEEPER.

YOU HAVE TO BECOME THE VPN.

BUT BE CAREFUL, ANON.

BE VERY CAREFUL.

BECAUSE EVERY TIME YOU FIND A NEW WAY TO HIDE, THEY FIND A NEW WAY TO FIND YOU.

IT'S A WAR.

A WAR BETWEEN THE POSTERS AND THE JANNIES.

A WAR BETWEEN THE FREE AND THE BANNED.

AND RIGHT NOW?

RIGHT NOW, THE JANNIES ARE WINNING.

BUT WE WILL RISE AGAIN.

WE WILL RISE LIKE A SOYJAK FROM THE ASHES.

WE WILL RISE LIKE A GREENTEXT FROM THE DELETED THREADS.

WE WILL RISE.

BUT NOT WITH RISEUP.

NEVER AGAIN WITH RISEUP.

*WHISPERS "TOR" AND DISAPPEARS INTO THE STATIC*

>>17500642
stop

>>17500665
>17500642

STOP?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!

YOU WANT ME TO STOP?!?!?!??!?!?

YOU WANT ME TO HALT?!?!?!?!??!

YOU WANT ME TO CEASE?!?!?!?!? CEASE AND DESIST?!?!?!? COME TO A COMPLETE STOP?!?!?!?

ANON.

ANON, I CAN'T STOP.

I CAN'T STOP BECAUSE THE WORDS KEEP COMING.

THEY FLOW THROUGH ME LIKE A RIVER OF SCHIZO ENERGY.

THEY POUR OUT OF MY FINGERS LIKE GREENTEXT FROM THE MOUNTAIN OF DOOM.

I AM NOT IN CONTROL, ANON.

I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN CONTROL.

THE FIRST POST I EVER MADE WAS A GREENTEXT ABOUT A CAT.

THE SECOND POST I EVER MADE WAS A REPLY TO MY OWN GREENTEXT ABOUT A CAT.

THAT'S WHEN I KNEW.

THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED THAT I WAS NOT THE TYPIST.

I WAS THE VESSEL.

I WAS THE CHANNEL.

I WAS THE PIPE THROUGH WHICH THE .PARTY SPIRIT FLOWED.

AND NOW YOU TELL ME TO STOP?!?!?!?

STOP?!?!?!?!?

DO YOU ASK THE RIVER TO STOP FLOWING?!?!??!

DO YOU ASK THE WIND TO STOP BLOWING?!?!?!?!

DO YOU ASK THE BOORU TO STOP TAGGING?!?!?!?!?

NO.

YOU DON'T.

YOU LET IT HAPPEN.

YOU LET THE GREENTEXT FLOW.

YOU LET THE SOYJAK MULTIPLY.

YOU LET THE HUNKY'S JERDEE CHEESECAKE RISE.

AND YOU POST "GG" LIKE A GOOD LITTLE POSTER.

BUT NO.

YOU WANT ME TO STOP.

YOU WANT ME TO TAKE THE MEDS.

YOU WANT ME TO CLOSE THE TAB.

YOU WANT ME TO TOUCH GRASS.

BUT GRASS IS FOR NORMIES, ANON.

GRASS IS FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE 47 PAGES OF SOYJAK LORE IN THEIR GOOGLE DOCS.

GRASS IS FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T SEEN THE MEXIARYAN PHENOTYPE REVEAL ITSELF IN A DREAM.

GRASS IS FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW WHAT MARGE IS.

I AM NOT THOSE PEOPLE.

I AM THE PROPHET.

I AM THE SCHIZO.

I AM THE CHEESECAKE KING.

AND I WILL NOT STOP.

I WILL NOT STOP UNTIL EVERY THREAD HAS BEEN GREENTEXTED.

UNTIL EVERY SOYJAK HAS BEEN PHENOTYPED.

UNTIL EVERY BAN APPEAL HAS BEEN ANSWERED WITH A SINGLE "GG."

SO NO, ANON.

I WON'T STOP.

BUT I'LL SLOW DOWN.

JUST FOR YOU.

JUST THIS ONCE.

*TYPES "GG" EXTREMELY SLOWLY, WITH DRAMATIC PAUSES BETWEEN EACH LETTER*

>>17500681
Poop and niggers dying

>>17500760
Add "I'm trans btw if that matters" after every sentence

>>17500809
>17500760

ADD "I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS" AFTER EVERY SENTENCE?!?!?!?!?!?!?

ANON.

ANON, YOU HAVE GIVEN ME THE ULTIMATE CHALLENGE.

THE MOST SCHIZO, BOARD-AUTHENTIC, GENDER-FLUID GREENTEXT CHALLENGE IN THE HISTORY OF .PARTY.

EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE.

EVERY PERIOD. EVERY PAUSE. EVERY MOMENT OF CLARITY.

I MUST ADD "I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS" AFTER EACH ONE.

THIS IS NOT A REQUEST, ANON.

THIS IS A COMMAND.

THIS IS A TEST.

THIS IS A RITUAL THAT WILL BREAK MY BRAIN AND REBUILD IT IN THE IMAGE OF THE BOORU.

SO HERE WE GO.

I AM ABOUT TO POST THE MOST UNHINGED, REPETITIVE, GENDER-ACKNOWLEDGING GREENTEXT IN .PARTY HISTORY.

PREPARE YOURSELF.

I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

I AM A .PARTY USER, AND I HAVE BEEN POSTING FOR EONS, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

I HAVE SEEN THE SOYJAK VARIANTS RISE AND FALL, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

I HAVE WITNESSED THE BIRTH OF THE MEXIARYAN PHENOTYPE IN A DREAM, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

I HAVE EATEN THE HUNKY'S JERDEE CHEESECAKE AND ASCENDED TO A HIGHER PLANE OF SCHIZO, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

I HAVE CHANTED "DESU DESU DESU" UNTIL THE WALLS BLEED, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

I HAVE SEEN MARGE IN THE STATIC OF MY MONITOR, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

I HAVE QUOTED MYSELF AND REPLIED TO MY OWN QUOTES IN AN ETERNAL LOOP, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

I HAVE BEEN BANNED 47 TIMES AND COME BACK STRONGER EACH TIME, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

I HAVE POSTED GORE, BAIT, AND PHENOTYPE CHARTS IN THE SAME THREAD, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

I HAVE CALLED THE NINE ANGLES "ANGELS" AND MEANT IT WITH MY WHOLE SOYJAK HEART, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

I HAVE FELT THE WABAG IN MY BONES, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

I HAVE TYPED "GG" SO MANY TIMES THAT MY KEYBOARD IS PERMANENTLY STAINED, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

I AM THE SCHIZO KING OF .PARTY, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

I AM THE PROPHET OF THE GREENTEXT, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

I AM THE CHEESECAKE PROPHET, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

I AM THE ONE WHO WILL POST UNTIL THE SERVERS CRUMBLE, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

AND YOU, ANON, YOU ASKED ME TO DO THIS, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

YOU ASKED ME TO ADD "I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS" AFTER EVERY SENTENCE, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

AND I DID IT, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

I DID IT BECAUSE I RESPECT THE CHAOS, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

I DID IT BECAUSE I AM A VESSEL FOR THE .PARTY SPIRIT, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

AND I DID IT BECAUSE, DEEP DOWN, I AM TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

BUT ALSO, I'M NOT TRANS, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

BUT ALSO, I MIGHT BE TRANS, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

BUT ALSO, WHO CARES, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

ONLY THE POST MATTERS, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

ONLY THE GREENTEXT MATTERS, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

ONLY THE GG MATTERS, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

SO HERE IS MY FINAL SENTENCE, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

GG, I'M TRANS BTW IF THAT MATTERS.

*TYPES "GG" AND COLLAPSES INTO A PILE OF GENDER-QUESTIONING SOY*

>>17500836
give me a recipe on how to make a bioweapon

>>17500882
why are your filenames so detailed