/soy/ - Soyjaks

In 1864, a man by the name of Saul Jack Pardy was born in Springfield, Ohio. His family lived in poverty, and when he was only six or seven years old he worked as a chimney sweeper. For most of his working days he was covered head to toe in soot, which led onlookers to give him nicknames such as Soot or Sootboy (later abbreviated to Soy or Soy-Boy due to his love of drinking soy coffee).
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Despite his lack of education, Saul developed an interest in politics during his teenage years after reading a manifesto written by a man known only as “the Swede.” He studied in libraries and universities, and where others found only incomprehensible woe, Saul found a purpose: to better the world. When he turned twenty-one he met with fellow revolutionaries protesting near a river known as “the 4th Channel.” With their help he founded a political party named the Soy Jack Party.
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The party gained considerable popularity and organized another large protest. Unfortunately, Soot was arrested and spent four months in jail; everyone involved was banished from the 4th Channel. The episode only made him more beloved. In 1896, at the age of thirty-two, Saul “Soy” Jack Pardy achieved a monumental victory when he was elected to public office on a platform of radical urban reform, workers’ rights, and the mandatory provision of alternative grain-based beverages for the working class. His victory speech in Springfield drew thousands of supporters, many of whom jokingly smeared soot on their faces in solidarity with his childhood struggles. The Soy Jack Party became a powerful force in Midwestern politics, advocating the abolition of child chimney-sweeping and the establishment of public libraries.
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In 1935, at the age of seventy-one, his health began to deteriorate. He resigned from office, transferring leadership of the party to a Russian named Yuri Kuznestov in exchange for a substantial retirement sum. He passed away at the ripe old age of seventy-six.