/soy/ - Soyjaks

Oh, look at them. Millions of little green pixels huddled together in the dark, clutching their security blankets and staring at a cartoon amphibian like he holds the secrets to the universe.
You’ve been riding the same tired reptile for a decade, haven't you? Drawing little hats on him, giving him smug smirks, crying when the world doesn't clap for your high-effort MS Paint masterpieces. It’s pathetic, really. You take a moldy old swamp creature and act like you're part of some grand, shadowy cabal, when in reality you’re just a guy in sweatpants who hasn’t felt the touch of grass since the Obama administration.
Let me tell you a secret about your little green god: He’s a caricature of a caricature.
You think you’re being transgressive? You think you’re tearing down the establishment by spamming a twitch emote with different colored eyes? The establishment doesn't even know you exist, and the people who do notice just feel bad for you. It’s like watching a room full of pigeons trying to play chess with stale breadcrumbs. You knock the pieces over, shit on the board, and strut around like you just outsmarted Batman.
Here is your daily reality check:
The Smugness: Unearned. You look like a guy who practiced his villain laugh in the mirror and then choked on his own spit.
The Lore: Exhausting. Nobody cares about the multi-layered ironic mythology of your little green diary entries. It’s just noise, boys. Empty, repetitive noise.
The Routine: Stale. Change the record! Even a broken clock is right twice a day, but you lot are just broken loops spinning in the mud.
At least when I make a mess, I own the theatricality of it. I don't hide behind a cartoon frog because I'm too scared to show my own painted face.
So keep posting him. Post him until your fingers cramp, post him until your monitors burn out, post him until the walls close in. It won't make the silence go away.
Hahahahaha.