/soy/ - Soyjaks

let’s talk about your modern court jesters. specifically, the tiny-faced little podcast man you’ve all turned into a jpeg generator.
i’m monitoring the airwaves from an abandoned TV studio in downtown gotham, scrolling through your endless folders of recycled internet sludge, and i keep seeing this guy. slick hair, overly aggressive suit, talking a mile a minute into a microphone about civilization collapsing because teenagers won't read 18th-century pamphlets. and what do you internet geniuses do? you take his face, shrink it down by about forty percent, and slap it over a wall of text like it’s the pinnacle of political satire.
is that it? is that the apex of your generation's wit?
“oh look, anons, i compressed his facial features into a centralized cluster the size of a postage stamp while he yells about taxes! peak comedy! my sides are in orbit!”
you call yourselves shitposters, but you’re just factory workers on an assembly line of redundancy. you take a guy who is already a walking, talking caricature of a used car salesman, and you spend three years arguing over whether his face was digitally edited to be smaller or if he was just born built like a thumb. where's the artistry? where's the punchline that actually leaves a mark?
at least when i rig a microphone to detonate into a stream of multi-colored confetti, i'm creating original chaos. you lot are just photocopying a photocopy of a guy shouting into a void while waiting for donations to clear.
grow up, kids. stop farming likes with microscopic face ratios and go do something genuinely theatrical.
why so derivative, chuds? find a new joke before the mirror breaks.