/soy/ - Soyjaks

NEVER GO TO THE SWINNY CAMP
My name is Hunky T. SexMachine, and this is my story. It was Summer and I was excited to go to this new camp that opened up nearby with my girlfriend. It was called "Camp Swinny". I paid $14.88 for one ticket for myself, and then another $14.88 for my girlfriend.
Once we arrived at the camp, there was a foul smell. Then a guy who called himself Carl walked up to me and greeted me, he had a spade tattoo on his forehead which was weird. As he escorted me, I saw someone ask about the smell, they then said "OYYY KILL THAT CHINNYCUCK" and they sacrificed him to moloch in front of me and my girlfriend.
Once they realized my girlfriend was a woman, Carl asked her for sex, I couldn't move, knowing I'd end up being sacrificed if I tried to resist him raping her. When she said no, Carl's head was red with rage, and then had her escorted away.
I was then brought to a "coal list", which was full of SNCA and at the bottom, written in fresh blood said "foids". I then look up, and on top of the coal list, there's a spike with my girlfriend's head on it.
I was immediately scared, but I had no choice but to join them at the campfire. They then said they were starting a "Lain gooning ritual", I had never heard of this before, but then they pulled out a screen and it had some tranime character on it, she looked no older than 14. All of the people were vigorously gooning to her and yelling some disgusting things I would rather not repeat, this is when I knew this was not a normal camp.
Somebody wearing an orange wig with a blue skirt walked in, his skin was vantablack and he saw me. He immediately tried to get me to submit to the "Trans New World Order", and I had no choice but to suck his tiny black pecker. He was very quick, and I felt disgusted.
I tried to sneak out later on in the night, but a bunch of fat people wearing police officer outfits, most likely guards, jumped me and began saying they do horrific things and that technoblade is burning hell because their "content is gooder". They then began beating me whilst chanting that their content is gooder.
I am writing this to you in the chamber they have locked me in, there's a dim light in the room. I will describe it how I see it. There is shit everywhere, mixed with a soft, clear, jelly thing. The walls are all covered in lolishit and pictures of infamous pedophiles like peter scully and jeffrey epstein laser beaming innocent people with big firey text saying that the pedophiles won and had better content. I do not know what's going to happen to me, but never go to the swinny camp so you do not end up like me.