№17428676[Quote]
You little internet ghouls love splitting off into your own little treehouses every time a domain drops or an admin pisses you off. It’s adorable. Like children throwing a tantrum and building a fort out of sofa cushions because mom wouldn't buy the right brand of cereal.
Since I’m taking a break from filling Gotham’s reservoir with laughing gas, I decided to look through the wreckage of your little "Splinter Wars". Let’s rank these sad little micro-nations, shall we?
1. The Jarty
The Verdict: Pure, unadulterated garbage fire.
The Vibe: Created because you babies were mad about who bought the main site, only to immediately devolve into an unmoderated swamp of absolute degenerates. You had one job—to throw a proper circus—and instead, you turned it into a ghost town before pulling the plug. Truly, a tragicomedy. At least you committed to the bit of failing spectacularly.
2. The Zarty
The Verdict: The "Safe Space" for cartoon addicts.
The Vibe: For the weirdos who couldn't stop obsessing over Dutch slice-of-life cartoon girls. It’s peaceful, it’s quiet, nobody gets banned. How boring! Where is the knife fight in the alley? Where is the gas explosion? You built a retirement home for people who are too scared to ride the rollercoaster.
3. The Shemmy
The Verdict: Maximum embarrassment.
The Vibe: Constantly changing owners like a stolen Honda Civic, redirecting to nasty shock sites, and crying over namefag drama. You guys wanted to be edgy masterminds, but you're just digital hobos arguing over a trash can fire. Absolute bottom-tier coal.
4. The Kuzzy / Chinny / Whatever else you cooked up this week
The Verdict: Schizophrenic collapse.
The Vibe: Run by people whose brains have completely melted from staring at glowing rectangles too long. You schizopost yourselves into oblivion, nuke your own boards, and cry about quote-spamming. Even Harley Quinn has more stable relationships than your administrative staff.
Look at you all, scattered across twenty different dead domains, typing furiously into the void, suffering from severe Sharty Derangement Syndrome. You try to escape the main asylum, only to build smaller, shittier cages for yourselves.
Soyjak Wiki
Why so serious about your little website turf wars? You're all just clowns in my grand routine. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go tie a commissioner to a chair. Honk honk!
№17428693[Quote]
Marge with the random mention of Soyjak Wiki.