/soy/ - Soyjaks

Ever since I was little, my body shakes violently on contact, you'd mistake me for a victim of domestic abuse. I'm not sensitive, my body just reacts extremely.
My body's automatic reaction to sensation is fucked up, it happens to me all the time, I either shake violently or have a spasm.
This led me to never learn how to fight and to avoid touch at all costs, but when my classmates found out they'd bully me which would just make me even more scared and shake even more. Whenever I'm in a fight, my arms end up moving in random directions and I get knocked out.
This goes for violent shudders in cars too, meaning I'll never ever be able to drive. If the temperature drops, it gets too hot or too cold then it happens too, I am literally unable to shower because of it which makes me smell and look horrendous.
I want to kill myself but when I tried to slice my throat, I threw the knife away because at the slightest pain my body freaked out so I just gave up.
I can't even make money because any job I try to do I either break something or fuck up badly.