/soy/ - Soyjaks

Everything about me is wrong and it's making me seriously consider suicide. For context, I was born disabled, mentally and physically. And it shows on my face especially, I look 40 years old at only 19, my back is crooked, my teeth are disgusting and I have deep eye bags to the point where people think I am on meth. I am a 6th grade drop out due to my intellectual disability and I might be homeless soon. I might be kicked out since I am unable to work and I have piles of trash in my room that I am too tired to clean and I piss myself since my bladder is fucked up. I really want to fix my life but I am ashamed to even leave the house because of my condition and I am scared of how people might react to me. I am confused on where to even start.