№17224306[Quote]
Item #: SCP-9558
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures:
All known physical copies of "Shit Nophono Cares About" are to be considered SCP-9558 instances and are to be confiscated immediately. Under no circumstances are unauthorized Foundation personnel to open, read, photograph, scan, digitize or ███████████ the contents of an instance.
Due to the properties of SCP-9558 instances, no physical copy is to be handled in an uncovered state. Each instance is to be completely wrapped in a continuous sheet of █████████████ with all seams welded and sealed to prevent accidental exposure of any portion of the text. The ████████ enclosure is to be applied without opening, unfolding, or otherwise exposing the book's contents. No viewing ports, transparent materials, or removable panels are permitted. All known SCP-9558 instances have proven indestructible by all Foundation methods tested to date. Attempts to burn, crush, disintegrate, chemically dissolve, ████████ or otherwise damage an instance are prohibited. The Foundation is to assume that SCP-9558 instances cannot be destroyed and that any attempt at destruction may produce unforeseen anomalous effects.
Recovered copies are to be transported in sealed archival containers to Site-██. Upon arrival, each copy is to be placed individually within a Class-XZ reinforced containment vault and secured in a designated archival locker. Access to the vault and its contents is restricted to personnel with Class 3 Clearance or Lower unless with direct authorization from Dr Cobson. The containment vault is to remain under continuous video surveillance.
The Foundation's information-security division is to maintain continuous monitoring of imageboards, alternative social-media communities, file-sharing services, torrent indexes, text repositories, and other locations where SCP-9558 related material could plausibly appear. Particular attention is to be given to 4chan, soyjak.party, and successor or mirror communities (Commonly refered to as "Alt Chans") where users may attempt to circulate scans, photographs, memes, excerpts, or purported "summaries" of the book.
MTF Task Force "Glowies" has primary responsibility for SCP-9558 digital suppression. When a digital reference to "Shit Nophono Cares About" is identified, This Task Force is responsible to:
1. Determine whether the material constitutes a genuine SCP-9558 instance or a derivative.
2. Remove or quarantine the material through Foundation-controlled means.
3. Identify and contain any physical copies associated with its distribution and to monitor locations where identified copies of the anomaly have been spotted.
4. Scrub cached, mirrored, archived, or reposted copies where feasible.
5. Monitor the originating community for evidence that additional copies have appeared.
Foundation personnel are not to open suspicious files solely to determine whether they contain SCP-9558. Automated systems are to be used whenever possible. Any proposed experiment involving SCP-9558 must receive written authorization from Dr. Cobson and O5-██.
№17224353[Quote]
gemerald
№17224360[Quote]
Seca
№17224403[Quote]
would mentioning the sharty on a scp wiki be grounds for it to be deleted
№17224477[Quote]
>>17224455the scp foundation originated on 4cuck's /x/ board so I doubt it
№17224496[Quote]
>>17224477They are a bunch of reddit trannies now man
№17224500[Quote]
>>17224477Snacks made /x/
№17224525[Quote]
>>17224511tbh, I wonder if wt snacks is aware of the shardee considering the 4cuck hack and all
he still runs a podcast to this day
№17225801[Quote]
bumping this so its not buried in bait
№17225903[Quote]
geg
№17226826[Quote]
Description:
SCP-9558 is a large, hardcover black book with seemingly infinite pages bearing the title Shit Nophono Cares About in a Calibri Font Colored white. The physical dimensions, binding materials, and printing method vary between recovered instances, although all confirmed copies display the same title and general contents. The Foundation has so far managed to reach a page count of ███ of the anomaly in experiments. The book concerns obscure or otherwise poorly documented subjects. Known examples include obscure technical standards, niche linguistic systems, historical facts, specialized manufacturing processes, unusual geographical facts, obsolete computer technologies, █████████ and various subjects for which little public interest exists. The contents appear to constitute a collection of information specifically relevant to the entity designated SCP-9558-A, commonly referred to as Nophono.
Any individual who reads SCP-9558 regardless of the amount of material read, is attacked by SCP-9558-A within the following █ to ██ minutes. SCP-9558-A manifests multiple elongated, shadow-like appendages from its body, which █████████ and ███████ the victim before killing them. Following the attack, the victim's body, clothing, and any personal effects in direct contact with them disappear without leaving identifiable biological, physical, or forensic evidence. No remains have been recovered from any confirmed SCP-9558-related incident.
SCP-9558-A is a humanoid entity of unknown origin and apparent extreme height measuring approximately 2.1 to 2.6 meters. Available photographic and video evidence depicts SCP-9558-A wearing a bright blue suit, white shirt, and tie. Its head possesses no observable facial features. The most significant anomalous property of SCP-9558-A is its apparent relationship with information. Current evidence suggests that SCP-9558-A derives some form of sustenance or increased physical capability from knowledge concerning obscure subjects. The degree of enhancement appears to be inversely proportional to the popularity of the information involved. Widely known information provides little or no measurable benefit, while information known by very few individuals appears to produce substantially greater effects.
The entity appears to regard exposure to the book as an immediate threat, responding by locating and eliminating the reader. The disappearance of victims following these attacks has made determining the full lethality of SCP-9558-A difficult, as no remains or recoverable biological evidence are left behind with current Foundation analysis suggests that the creation and circulation of SCP-9958 may therefore be detrimental to SCP-9958-A capabilities.
The following known contents of the anomaly have been identified through Controlled D Class Experiments:
Typography used in 1980s Australian government documents.
The mechanics of competitive cup stacking.
The makeup artists credited on the original Star Wars trilogy.
Toki Pona syntax.
Traditional Turkic belief systems.
Types of wood used in the manufacture of toothpicks.
The structure of Masonic lodges.
The economy of Vanuatu.
The obsolete IPv5 protocol.
The standardization of paper sizes.
The orbital characteristics of Mercury.
Reverse-engineering VHS color-bleed artifacts.
Paleolithic wind instruments discovered in flooded caves.
The architectural geometry of roadside rest stops.
The precise pre-standardization hue of safety orange.
Data-corruption patterns associated with Windows 98 startup sounds.
The 1999 Yahoo Directory index.
The ISO C++ standard.
Infrared photography of parking lots.
Obscure audio data contained within historical aerospace recordings.
Field-test data from prototype aviation magnetic compasses.
The Dvorak keyboard.
Gravel composition on islands of the South Atlantic.
The Complete Contents of SCP- 9558 Remain Unknown.
№17227026[Quote]
bump everyone needs to see this
№17227072[Quote]
gemmie
№17228990[Quote]
Gem