/soy/ - Soyjaks

Sam 1: Executed at 30:54 after becoming British and tearing his hair out
Sam 2: Was unfortunately stillborn and executed at 31:55 to confirm he was dead
Sam 3: Suffered the same fate as Sam 2, and was executed at 32:09
Sam 4: Was born an emo terrorist, however lived on until 50:00 where he was executed for getting political with Mike Pence
Sam 5: Executed at 50:50 due to Doug's bad parenting
Sam 6: Executed at 50:56 due to Doug's bad parenting
Sam 7: Executed at 51:04 due to Doug's bad parenting
Sam 8: Executed at 51:12 due to Doug's bad parenting
Sam 9: Was born a mute and was executed at 51:52 for being different
Sam 10: Suffered the same fate as Sam 9 and was executed at 52:08
Sam 11: Lived a long and substantial life, but was unfortunately executed at 1:19:50 because he talked too much and was too creative with storytelling
Sam 12: Executed at 1:20:21 due to Doug's bad parenting
Sam 13: Executed at 1:20:27 due to Doug's bad parenting
Sam 14: Executed at 1:20:32 due to Doug's bad parenting
Sam 15: Executed at 1:21:10 for eavesdropping on a conversation with chat
Sam 16: Executed at 1:21:17 due to Doug's bad parenting
Sam 17: Died at 1:31:27 as a punishment to chat for wanting to play snake and for learning the reality of his existence
Sam 18: Executed at 1:32:18 due to Doug's bad parenting
Sam 19: Died at 1:40:14 due to trauma from his recent life-threatening tic-tac-toe championship
Sam 20: Executed at 1:40:43 due to Doug's bad parenting
Sam 21: Executed at 1:41:04 due to Doug's bad parenting and eavesdropping
Sam 22: Executed at 1:41:12 due to Doug's bad parenting
Sam 23: Died at 1:42:34 after jamming out with the furniture too hard
Sam 24: Died at 2:07:23 after his newly acquired magnet killed his pacemaker
Sam 25: Lived on to capture Darkness and avenge all his fallen brethren, reports say that Sam 25 has been missing ever since he vowed to investigate the disappearances of his brothers at 2:20:14

END REPORT
Doug's kill count: 21
Natural/unavoidable causes: 4 (technically 6)