/soy/ - Soyjaks

I can't take it anymore. I will have been a neet for a decade later this year, with not even online friends for most of all that time. I've been horrifically depressed and mentally ill for as long as I can remember, and wouldn't you know it, isolating myself this way hasn't improved that. My dysphoria hasn't abetted, the parasocial relationships I've "fostered" only make things even worse, and my body is falling apart. Now, after wasting a soul crushing amount of precious time, with the likelihood of having spent the entirety of my twenties alone in my room staring me in the face, I'm finally realizing that I do care after all. I don't want to kill myself, I don't deserve to suffer like this, I want to live life and have friends, to go out in the world and try making something of myself. And I cannot do that as a man. I tried, and here's where I ended up.
But I'm aware that transitioning doesn't magically solve all your problems or make you into a whole new person, and dysphoria is far from my only issue. The death of my father when I was a child, possible sexual abuse from my older brother, a very emotionally distant mother, a generally dysfunctional hoarder-esque home life, combined with clear aspergers/autism and probably other undiagnosed mental issues would probably be enough to fuck me up without the gender stuff. But the gender stuff, for whatever reason, feels most pressing. I see no point in taking care of myself or trying to improve as a man, which obviously means I can only get worse, as a man. A viscous cycle that has cost me my youth.
I'm considering coming out to my family tomorrow. There will never be a right time, and the thought of another day with them thinking I'm (ok with being) a man is making me despair. My question is: should I do it now like I'm thinking, or should I try one last time to improve my life more generally first? I'm not saying that as a substitute for transition, but I worry I won't be taken seriously if I come out like I am now.