/soy/ - Soyjaks

So my gfs family is from Mexico and she explained that at least in her family it is considered rude to clean someone else's house unless you made a mess. Like you can clean your own house but it’s rude to just start tidying someone else’s house unless they ask especially if you’re a guy. Apparently the rules are more lax for women or something and she said depending on the context a close female friend or relative should help the hostess. But she said please don’t clean her house, she will clean everything. Well one time I went over and she cooked dinner and it took like five hours and we were chatting the whole time and I felt bad so I offered to do the dishes but she said no. I did them anyway because I felt bad and she texted me the next day saying her dad learned that I washed the dishes and he got mad and yelled at her. Every time I see her cooking I offer to help clean but she said no and that looks badly on her but I told her I feel bad just sitting around and she said that I should have a beer and a snack and "watch the game"…. I’ve never really been a watch the game guy so I asked if there was anything I could do and she offered to set me up with a movie. I don’t know how to cook so that’s why I don’t offer and she knows I can’t cook so thats why I ask her to cook but I don’t like just sitting around I feel bad.

So yesterday I came to her house and she was hosting her grandparents who are very judgemental (her words). My gf was cooking a big meal including dessert and I felt bad just sitting there. Admittedly i DID invite myself (she agreed I could come but I’m the one who asked) but I just felt awkward just sitting there so I started doing dishes and cleaning counters. She said please don’t but I didn’t listen. It was just so awkward and frankly I don’t speak Spanish so I couldn’t really chat with everybody either so I just kept cleaning. She says she appreciates the effort but please stop. She finished cooking and we all ate and laughed but I wanted to hangout today and texted her but she seemed upset and she explained that her grandparents criticised her and that I "brought shame to her." She says shes not mad at me but she understands, but her family is upset with her and shes not in a good mood today and she told me not to clean. I really didn’t think it was that big of a deal and I felt bad that she was just cooking for like three hours. Aita?