/soy/ - Soyjaks

The blinding vantawhite bonechilling TRVTH is that cobson is neither a gem, nor coal, nor even iron, but an all encompassing superstate of all mineral ratings. For every gem, there must be an equal and opposite number of coals. For if the difference between the two grows too large
Disastrous things may happen…
<cobspace
Cobson's rise to popularity is a multisoymensional anomaly. He was not made for quoting soyboys, yet in this timeline he somehow became one of THE most popular variants in all of time. This puts him in a precarious situation. Too many gems, and he threatens to be a soyjak adopted by self inserters. To many coals and poopson may emerge. Either the recursive irony-postirony infinity or critical antimass of poopson threaten to create singularity that would rip apart the fabric of the soyverse and engulf us whole…
<cobspace
Luckily, an unnamed Asoylum researcher dedicated his life to creating a device to maintain the balance. It consumes an immeasurable amount of power and water to compute a perfect antigem for every gem and vise versa. But this machine is beginning to age and malfuction. It has been creating hypermasculine images that can't be considered cobsons at all, creating the need for it to work harder and harder to create any true cobsons.
<cobspace
This leaves me with no choice but to call onto soyteen kind to help maintain this balance. For every new cobson you see, you must create an equal and oppisite. Care must be taken to not make an anti of anticobsons, or it may quickly create a degereative spiral, which could lead to its own problems. Please head my message and spread the word!