/soy/ - Soyjaks

Yeah yeah, AB
Can of whoop-aaassssss
Volume one
Alright then
Let me tell you about a little trip I had init
Like one day I was just going to Lidl init
And this is how it went
Check it
One day I went to Lidl
I went to shoplift in Lidl
Then I got caught in Lidl
Now I don't go back to Lidl
One day I went to Asda
I went to shoplift in Asda
Then I got caught in Asda
Now I don't go back to Asda
One day I went to Lidl
I was really really hungry
I went to shoplift in Lidl
'Cos I had no money money
I looked around
And no one was looking looking
So I put some goods in my pocket
And I walked towards the door
As I was walking walking walking
On the shop floor (floor)
I saw the security guard
He was Nigerian, big black hench, and raw
So I put my hands in my pocket
And I walked towards the door
The security guard said
"Ace ace what do you take me for?!"
One day I went to Lidl
I went to shoplift in Lidl
Then I got caught in Lidl
Now I don't go back to Lidl
One day I went to Asda
I went to shoplift in Asda
Then I got caught in Asda
Now I don't go back to Asda
One day I went to Asda
My breath was really really smelling
I went to shoplift in Asda
'Cos E.m.a didn't pay me
I put some chicken in my pocket
And I tried to walk out of the door
The security guard said,
"Can I see what's in your pockets please?"
So I emptied out my pocket
On the shop floor
The security guard said
"Ay mate, why did you take this for?"
So he took me up to his office
And made me sign a contract
He even took a photo
And told me never come back
One day I went to Lidl
I went to shoplift in Lidl
Then I got caught in Lidl
Now I don't go back to Lidl
One day I went to Asda
I went to shoplift in Asda
Then I got caught in Asda
Now I don't go back to Asda
One day I came to England
Without a real passport
I got past immigration
Without getting caught
Now I'm in England
I must go secondary school
I am 19 but I lied and said I am 14
So I'm in year 9
And I am doing my SATS
I love to eat chicken and chips
And late nights go on MSN
One day I was in the bath
Oyinbo man came to my door
He said,
"Olushola Ajose, we are immigration."
One day I went to Lidl
I went to shoplift in Lidl
Then I got caught in Lidl
Now I don't go back to Lidl
One day I went to Asda
I went to shoplift in Asda
Then I got caught in Asda
Now I don't go back to Asda