/soy/ - Soyjaks

I used to think I was just “ironically browsing” Soyjak Party
at 3 AM like every other terminally online goblin. “Haha yes, another 400-post thread about increasingly niche wojaks, surely this is healthy.” But then something changed. One day I saw a thread arguing for 19 pages straight about whether a pink hoodie was “malebrained” or “fembrained,” and instead of laughing I caught myself taking NOTES.

At first it was subtle. I started saying things like “many such cases” and “it’s over” while staring into the mirror. Then I bought thigh highs “as a joke.” Then I installed Linux. Then one night I opened MSPaint to make a reaction image and accidentally gave my self-insert long hair and eyeliner. I sat there frozen like I had just activated a sleeper agent code phrase.

The final blow came when someone posted a crudely drawn wojak captioned:

>mfs will spend 12 hours debating phenotype charts instead of admitting they want to be a cute girl

And I felt my soul leave my body.

Now I’m out here explaining to my friends that yes, my gender identity was partially discovered through exposure to surreal internet memes made by sleep-deprived anonymous users communicating entirely through compressed JPEGs and layers of irony so dense they achieved gravitational collapse. My therapist asked what caused my awakening and I had to decide whether to lie or explain what a “doodlesona” is.

Many such cases.