>>16086568 (OP)That’s not really a “relationship gem” so much as a signal that both of you are getting your sexual cues from porn categories that are heavily tied to racial fetishization.
“Blacked” and “bleached” edits aren’t just harmless aesthetics—they come from porn niches that often reduce people to race-based stereotypes. If those are shaping what each of you finds exciting, it’s worth being a bit cautious about what that might be doing to how you see each other over time.
A healthy relationship “gem” would be something like: you’re attracted to each other as full people, not filtered through racialized porn categories. If those interests are just private fantasy material, that’s one thing—but if they’re influencing expectations about your partner’s body or identity, that’s where it can get messy fast.
If you want a good check-in question, try: “Do I still feel attracted to my partner outside of porn labels or categories?”
If the answer is yes, you’re probably fine. If not, it might be worth unpacking what’s actually driving the attraction.
If you want, I can help you sort out whether this is just fantasy preference or something that could actually affect your relationship dynamic.