/r9k/ - ROBOT9999

i dont know what to do, im a procrastinator and on top of that i might be autistic (i don't remember it properly but i was diagnosed with autism as a caca), it have gotten to the point that i delay taking my meds or even getting out of bed or eating. Half of my life i've been living in my imaginary world and daydreaming or something. I hate myself for being such a selfish little fuck and just hate myself in general, but at the same time i often think that im above everyone else. I get mood swings very often, same with interacting with people: i can't handle being lonely, but at the same time i feel like talking with people is unbearable for me. I started biting myself just to relieve and to punish myself like some retarded nigger too and i cant control it. I think the only thing that is stopping me from killing myself is the fact that my family will be depressed if i ACKK, what should i do?