/r9k/ - ROBOT9999

I feel you, ‘een. I have trouble focusing to the point that I have often found myself standing around in my room or in the shower for hours on end trying to figure out what I should be doing instead. A couple doctors (who didn’t want me to take meds or anything, so I’m more inclined to believe them) have told me I probably have OCD for a number of reasons, but I don’t want to come off as a larping faggot so I have to keep denying it. Shit sucks, man

Ironically though I've went through the process of discovery-> self diagnose-> oficial diagnosis probably by watching a random normgroid video about ADHD habits probably because of my "love" of novelty. I see many threads about neurodivergency but im not sure if it's survivorship bias (think about which types of people use imageboards) or people unknowingly lying. In real life you probably won't be able to instantly know if a person has ADHD, especially if there is no visible hyperactivity. Then again, the rate of neurodivergency has 100% been increasing significantly over the years, unlikely because spergs were "chained to radiators" or "locked in a closet for being autistic" or whatever neo liberals say to virtue signal. It is somewhat heritable but also a genetic mutation. Doing drugs, smoking, stress during pregnancy, decreasing food quality, pollution, people having children at a way older age… It all does contribute to children being born neurodivergent. Half of me feels fake because I feel like im hopping on an online trend but the other is satisfied because it explains why I was, and am so different. I don't have anything else to say.

I also have ADHD, and I scored highly enough on the 'tism test to be worthy of a referral but not a diagnosis.

Its not that strong for me but it definitely affects me throughout my day. I feel an immense fatigue if I have to do something I've been dreading and have no interest in, like paperwork. Revision also sucks ass, I struggle to focus on it and swap to another tab very quickly to watch jewtube o algo.

It also makes me very forgetful. I've lost a lot of personal belongings which has made my parents angry at me often. I am also treated as a young child sometimes.

I struggled understanding people as a caca so I would mimic and parrot whatever the normalfags would do. I would copy meme phrases without understanding them or whatever. It never fucking works btw, they can tell somehow with their sperg sensors and will still mock you. What sucks is that ADHD makes me very talkative, and I do genuinely enjoy talking with people, but unless they are also divergentGODs it results in people thinking im an overexited puppy dog that should be treated like a child.

The worst case might be with how my mother treats me. I've been told before to my face that she doesn't care about whatever thing I found interesting and tried to share. Shes not abusive or anything but it feels like shit and like I don't have anybody to actually bond with. Even if they listen, do they actually care what I have to say? Or am I speaking to the void and they're waiting for me to fuck off. I can't tell too well and used to assume most were interested and got burnt for that, so now I have the tendency to assume that nophono cares fan abour it and I should shut up.

What sucks is that I am not a 80 IQ brainlet. I wish I was. Then I'd be in the special classes playing with play-doh for my entire childhood, and my parents would have been happy with me finding a job as a janny in a cafe or something. I got 130 IQ on some fancy danish IQ test niggas were doing on /pol/ early in the summer.

This means that my parents have high expectations of me. I coasted through primary education because you have to be an actually retarded nigger to not do well in that, if your parents taught you multiplication and division and you actually read books instead of sitting in front of an ipad as a caca it was effortless. I got into a grammar school and got violently 'aped by the new standards. Everyone was at the minimum on my level, and would easily spend hours revising for exams. My ability to revise is incredibly sporadic and tends to be in bursts, so if I get the motivation I can do a whole practise test in one sitting without a problem, but most of the time I would struggle with it and do it on and off for an entire day. This has made me get middling grades overall, a little above average but weaker than my peers, and I can tell that my parents are disappointed in this which sucks.

I remember the whole ADHD, OCD, Autism and stimming thing going on on chinktok during the kikedowns. So many niggers were recording themselves "stimming" and getting a gorillion views, but if you paid attention, most were evil foids and statistically most women don't get these mental disorders, and if you have them, you DEFINITELY wouldn't glorify it online. It was another case of lockdown mania, like when the fags and troons became a sort of trend and everyone was claiming to want to be some kind of xhe/xher faggot. The worst thing with ADHD is that everybody seems to think they have it, when most likely its just that they are a lazy nigger that killed their attention span by spending all day on chinktok. If they stopped using their phone for a week or two they would most likely go back to being a normalfag. ADHD is a lot more than just struggling to pay attention.

>>97621
I also self diagnosed before actually getting diagnosed but I didn't want to just go off that. I didn't want to be like the niggers claiming they're a sperg for having a "special interest" or something.

If I had to guess its most likely to do with 2 factors. More people are able to get diagnosed because its more available and its more known about than in previous years. And people are having kids REALLY late. The boomers started this where some would have their kids late (like DBDR), but still most had their kids by their early 30s. Gen X normalised having children in their mid-late 30s and started making having children in your 20s a "weird" thing, and now Millenials, being the most buckbroken generation, are wanting to live in their delusions until their mid 30s and having kids either in their late 30s or even 40s. I'm sure you have all seen the graph of age of parents compared to rate of neurodivergence of children

feel you, I have really bad adhd and am either extremely socially retarded or somewhat autistic, unfortunately I folded and began taking meds that I have developed a deep over reliance on because how much I was being ostracized and harassed by niggers and foids at my school and it was the only way I could somewhat conform and avoid conflict

They are also the same people that will tell you to have 'le common sense and basic thinking' when you ask any basic questions that doesn't come natural for you.

I really fucking hate seeing ANY media making a quirky for the sake of being quirky character and characters with autism spectrum that is considered safe and lgbt affirming o algo.

There's a lot of autist that wouldn't be considered as quirky autistic safe (you're browsing one rn), and those that aren't safe or the norm are just considered le hecking bigots / chuds.

FUCK being normal, I'd rather stay silent than say shit about any of my real hobbies cause these niggers will seethe when your autism isn't reddit chungus wholesome quirky.

>>97654
Hell, even if its the "quirky" or at least neutral type of sperginess it doesn't ever get received like it does in a film.

I am really interested in history and tanks along with some other things. Ranting about history is one of those things that my mum told me that she doesn't care about, and the only person I can talk about it freely is with an autistic friend that has also got an interest in it. So even if its the safe sperginess it isnt received well by anyone other than other spergs.

The second it starts being out of the norm or political you get the common words coming out. Calling you a chud or an incel generally.

Like you said at the bottom, I just stay silent about it now despite actually wanting to talk to people. It does feel very lonely sometimes but its better than having a reputation or even getting into trouble.

I think people who make quirkchungus oc are just trying to cope. Having autism and ADHD isn't that interesting. I was diagnosed with ADHD and all it does is make me struggle when I have to focus in a collage lecture or have to sit and spend hours on a project.

QCfags want to seem cool and interesting when in reality they have nothing going for them other than a diagnosis and pills

>>97658
>Ranting about history is one of those things that my mum told me that she doesn't care about, and the only person I can talk about it freely is with an autistic friend that has also got an interest in it.

That's kinda fucked up, I don't get why parents would say shit like this and wonder why their kids aren't telling them anything.

>So even if its the safe sperginess it isnt received well by anyone other than other spergs.

There's barely a difference but still a difference, one you get treated like a chud and the other you just get ignored because it's not politically worth it to insult you. Either way you're considered a nuisance anyway.

>The second it starts being out of the norm or political you get the common words coming out. Calling you a chud or an incel generally.

Worst is that there's so many political larpers that they act like they're politically smart cause they think people shouldn't do X and Y, and only those two core thing because anything related to labour and economics is too much for these normgroids.

>Like you said at the bottom, I just stay silent about it now despite actually wanting to talk to people. It does feel very lonely sometimes but its better than having a reputation or even getting into trouble.

I wish I have learned when to stay out of trouble way earlier, my retarded ass got me fucked over many times.

It's insane to me that OCD is almost always characterised as just "washing your hands too much" or "having intrusive thoughts". OCD is debilitating in how it triggers the threat response system in your brain to make you feel like somethings an issue, even if logically you know your fears are completely irrational. Whats so fucked about it is how it preys on your biggest fears and values, making you REALLY feel like something is actually wrong with you. Sure it can be something based in reality like washing your hands to avoid getting infected or infecting others, but it's often something as insane as having an irrational fear you're going to, or secretly want to, kill someone you love. The limit doesn't stop there, literally anything bad you can think of doing, becoming, or have happen to you is possible to be twisted against you by OCD. Imagine feeling the guilt for a crime or act you find absolutely unforgivable, that you haven't committed or ever wanted to commit. It's genuinely one of the most cruel mental illnesses for those afflicted, but every nigger online just doesn't care and only thinks of it as "quirky perfectionism"

For me, my OCD delusion is my mind being permanently infected and tainted by what I see or think. The fear that if I see someone doing something bad, or if I have a disturbing intrusive thought, i'll secretly become like them or the thought unless I review my thoughts over and over and over again to make sure I won't, and it almost never ends there because I create more uncertainty I feel the need to address in the process, and so it goes on and on and on and on. It feels like hell to live like this, I almost never get a break from it, but there's no one I can talk to about it and no treatments i can get for it. but yeah it's totally all just "quirky handwashing", FUCK normal niggers

>>97678
Yeah, my mum does ask me occasionally why I don't talk with her more. She clearly does care about me a lot and I do love her but we do not have many common interests. Shes very busy a lot of the time so probably doesn't want to deal with me. I can talk about other interests I have like nature but ive given up trying to talk about history or politics, and ages ago as a caca i was able to realise she didn't give a damn about vidya.

My dad likes history and I can talk about it with him but hes not too interested so I try to only talk about it from time to time.

I only really started to stay out of trouble and act more "normal" around the ages of 15-16. Before that I used to be more social and have some bad habits like not showering often enough, doebeit I can attribute some of it to the kikedowns messing with my development, they happened when I was 12-13. I only socialise with a select few people I can see as being "compatible", and I minimise contact with the rest.

Politics is just a load of shitflinging. I find theory and economic policy interesting, but social issues are the most basic and emotional topic thats a waste of time. You can convince somebody to your side economically, but not socially.

Quite frankly I don't care too much about the social stuff either. Other than those which have major effects like DEI policies and mass immigration, which also influence (YOU) economically, I don't hold too strong an opinion. I do hate trannies and want them to go back to being nonexistant, but when it comes to fags I don't care too much and only want things to go back to the standards of the early 2000s, where it wasn't acceptable to be one publicly. They've exist since forever and trying to majorly switch up on them will have a holocaust effect in the future where they will make a gorillion sob stories and become untouchable

>you have x condition
>people make fun of it
>people costume with it
>you seethe endlessly
Add retardation and obsession disorders to your list, I have mental problems and don't sperg out when people "meme" or whatever the fuck lmao
pathetic loser ragebaby thread

>>97614
u already a larping faggot the way you act

>>97622

Holy shit, found a gem of a thread.

Born one month premature to 40 yo parents, had to stay in the NICU to let my heart fully develop. Had to go abroad in a tropical location because of my parents’ work, received 6 gorrillion vaccines and also hit fevers of 40+ degrees Celsius regularly. Diagnosed Generalized Anxiety Disorder and “symptoms of dysgraphia” in elementary school, though I was turbo-hyperactive even then. I developed pretty bad stimming. They said I did not have autism, though.

Elementary school they diagnosed me with inattentive ADHD, but their testing methodology was somewhat shit. I also developed tics around this time, and they have fluctuated since then. High school they said I had dysthymia and SzPD/OCPD traits, some symptoms of shit like CPTSD, borderline, and some other shit I don’t remember. They dropped the ADHD diagnosis because I did not answer in a hyper-specific way their methodology wanted, and also because I feel like they just wanted an excuse to paint me as a lost cause and just “manage” me instead of actually try to help me.

COVID came, my life went downhill because my school were retarded niggers that wanted to work us to the bone because they thought staying at home would be fun for us, I had a foid teacher manipulate me into developing a oneitis for her and use me for supply because I liked her despite me never making a move on her (last day of school she brought her boyfriend there and they were staring at me), and I also have a fucked up septum and chronic inflammation in my nose since COVID that blocks me from being able to breathe, smell, taste, or sleep well — so I have been a lethargic, walking zombie going on for years now.

I was good at science and history. I can memorize a lot of facts, maybe even come up with something here and there — but I cannot do it consistently, and my ability to do so also took a further hit after COVID. I cannot do math 90% of the time, though sometimes my brain just randomly locks in. I am better (though not a genius) at physics, but eventually my lack of math skills caps me.

Graduated HS with a 2.35 GPA out of 5.33. Only had an AP Biology to my name, which I managed to score a five in — and I mostly just took that as a cope to feel less retarded. That’s literally the highlight of my academic “career.” Right now, I usually sit at home being a NEET and doing nothing. I got tested again and had the ADHD and depression confirmed by a psychiatrist and psychologist, plus SzPD/AvPD, and OCPD traits, and I also scored high enough on the ‘tism test for a referral. I am not even sad or really angry anymore — just incredibly burned out, emotionless, anhedonic, abulic/lethargic, and have little empathy (especially for normgroids) which has caused me to become paranoid I am becoming a sociopath/narcissist. It is, however, a narcissistic, commodified world we are living in where you have to be and present as perfect and abide by dog eats dog, so I guess it makes at least some sense.

Parents were retarded boomer fags, so good luck trying to talk to them about any of this. Being Gen Z with boomer parents is actually unreal, and I don’t wish it on anybody. It is like perpetually stubbing your toe on something. The amount of neglect, belittling, lecturing, comparison, naivety, and everything else associated with them is beyond your comprehension — and my folks are some of the better ones, because they usually just ignore me and let me do my own thing unless something goes wrong or they feel like I have to do something at/by a certain time, which is when the bitching and moaning picks up again.