/r9k/ - ROBOT9999

I know most people here are shut-ins but what I'm talking about is a very unique sort of isolation. Whenever I talk to people I just don't feel like a person. My interests, beliefs, thought processes, pretty much everything is completely foreign. I've legitimately never had a close irl friend since maybe third grade, I have acquaintances, people I talk to while I'm doing something, but no true friends. No one I could share interests with or have a personal relationship with.

What inspired me to make this thread is a conversation I was having with a few people at my college today. They're also fairly weird and nerdy people, I mean one of them said he nearly got admitted to a mental hospital, and yet even with them I felt different. They seemed to know everyone, they knew all the gossip or whatever, and despite what flaws they had they clearly weren't like me.

I've never met someone like myself. I'm sure there are, after all this board does exist, but clearly we're pretty rare. To be clear, this isn't just social isolation, there's plenty of people who are isolated. The difference between someone who is just isolated and someone like me is that a person can be isolated from many different reasons, and can eventually overcome their isolation. I don't think me or many of the people on this board could ever be popular or normal. We're just not like them. I've never felt a desire to use instagram or other similar normie social media, for example. To me, imageboards like this are infinitely more interesting than xitter, instagram, preddit, or any other normie platform. I understand the reason people use things like that, but I just can't see myself ever using them.

I used social media as an example but it applies to many other things. I have never been able to have any long-term friendships irl because I'm just completely different from these people. Even with people who might seem similar to me I still end up feeling isolated. I just don't know how to describe it but I feel completely foreign to this world. I'm autistic and probably BPD so that like factors into it.

I doubt I explained myself well but if anyone else has similar thoughts feel free to share them or ask me questions. I feel kind of sad living my life like this but I don't think I will ever be able to feel genuine connection.