>>89782 (OP)Suicide is a bit selfish. Don't be an SLF, and appreciate what your mom is doing for you. My mom doesn't love me, but atleast my dad does. Keep on living, atleast for her. Think about how'd she feel after loosing her kid. If you can't deal with this feeling, resort to abusing alcohol and niccotine at night. And if that's not enough, talk to her, talk to her about how you feel. Ask her for help, therapy. She'll think of something. If sbe's going this fsr to keep younaway from ACK'ing, it means she cares about you a lot. Tho i guess i'm not one to talk, since i'm only abusing alcohol and nicc to keep going on, to relax and forget while not seeking proper treatment. That doesn't mean you shouldn't listen to my words tho. Help yourself, and don't end up scared and alone in your thoughts like me. Talk to her , i'm begging you.