I've downed like maybe four 100 ml vodkas. Thwy're some shitty brand called baltik. They tastw like paint thinner but they work.I'm not sure why i drank. I don't feel sad at all. I'm just in my room, it's 3 am, and i'm staring at the cwiling while listen

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Drinking and listening to sad music while you're not sad feels weird Chud 05/30/26 (Sat) 01:25:17 №89780 [Quote]

I've downed like maybe four 100 ml vodkas. Thwy're some shitty brand called baltik. They tastw like paint thinner but they work.
I'm not sure why i drank. I don't feel sad at all. I'm just in my room, it's 3 am, and i'm staring at the cwiling while listening to melancholic music. It's the same routinw i had when my forst ever girlfriend dumped me. It feels unnatural. I drank, yet i don't feel sad.
I'm also going to put a 50mg cuba snus (nic pouch) in to my mouth soon. I'll feel like shit but, i guess something deep down motivated me to do this. There's probably a reason i did this, but i don't know what it is. Maybe i'm unhappy with my current relationship, maybe i'm worried about my grades, maybe i'm just unhappy with my achievements in life and feel like a dissappointment to my dad. I don't know. I'll cry myself to sleep from how much i'm unhappy rn.
I miss my ex, my current gf is a bpd schizoid nigger, i'm failing a class, and i feel like im a burden to my dad. I don't want to feel like this. Only reason i haven't ACKED is because of my father. If i ACK, he's got nothing left in his sad pathetic miserable life , and i don't want him to ACK

Chud 05/30/26 (Sat) 02:12:02 №89787 [Quote]

>listens to sad music
>feels sad
?
>current gf is a ticking time bomb
whyd you even get with her? was she just a rebound gf to cope with the loss of your ex?
>somehow failed classes (literally the easiest thing to do is to follow the syllabus)
thats on you mate. you know your issues so go fix em
>tfw burdening dad
Fathers Day is coming up soon. maybe also do some chores around the house.
>If i ACK
is this a bait post

Chud 05/30/26 (Sat) 02:35:38 №89791 [Quote]

>>89787
>is this a bait post
Not a bait post. I'm just really fucked up cuz of alc and nic rn.
>whyd you even get with her? was she just a rebound gf to cope with the loss of your ex?
Only reason i'm with that girl is cuz i didin't know how much of a ticking time bomb she is 6 months ago. I got with her 2 months afzer my ex
>fathers day
No one even knows about that in my country and we don't even celebrate it
>thats on you mate. you know your issues so go fix em
I've been trying really hard, have been going to private classes almost every day, financing them on my own, and have been studying hard. Only problem is that my teacher is a diabetic nigger that throws curveballs on tests, and gives us problems that are based on circuit loops that have been changed up to oblivion from what we were actually taught in class. They're even even different than what is given in our textbooks

>listen to sad music, feels sad
I've gotten from not sad to sad while writing. Alcohol and nic make me think about shit i haven't thought about in a while, or uncover new thoughts.

I don't want to relly on substance abuse, and i haven't in a long time, but i relapsed tonight

I don't think i'll actually ACK, but it's been a lingering thought in the back of my head for 6 years now, tho i throw those thoughts away after about 2 days, and think about them every couple of months

I wan't to seek help, but therapy is pretty pricey, i can't afford it, and i don't wamt to burden my dad with costs of therapy either

Chud 05/30/26 (Sat) 02:41:56 №89793 [Quote]

>>89791
ur on a hangover or sumn?
<
i see. people do switch up i guess im sorry to hear that shes like that
<
ok well it looks like my criticism wasnt valid. i feel you bro bad professors are niggeraids. have you tried talking to your teacher about this issue?
<
ive been sober for like 3-4 years now you can push through if you want to. WAGMI bro
<
therapy is probably not what you need honestly. theyre just gonna put you on painkillers because you had a few suicidal thoughts. i used to think about suicide quite a bit but honestly like whatever temporary problem you have, that permanent solution would only make it worse

Chud 05/30/26 (Sat) 02:58:09 №89797 [Quote]

>>89793
>are you hungover or sum

Probably, tho my head doesn't hurt ewhem i'm hungover, so i dom't know if i am or not. I'm pretty lost in my thoughts, the alcohol has started to fizzle out , but my brain is still foggy, and i'm still lost with words (i'm not sure if my sentances even make all that much sense)

>therapy and that brap

You'rs right. I'll just get assigned medz that will make me feel even worse, and that i'd probably mix with other shit to make my self feel even worse (just like.my.dad before he divorced my mom)

>have you tried talking to your teacher

Indirectly. I've talked about him with my base twacher (or academic teacher, idk how tontranslate it, i'm a euromutt) (the whole class has talked about him to the base teavher /academic advisor atp) , and there's kind of nothing she can do about him. He's a pretty oldcshool teacher, and usually derails calls im to just him ranting about how thimgs were in the olden days and how were all lazy and things like that.

Chud 05/30/26 (Sat) 03:26:44 №89802 [Quote]

>>89797

Also, abt my current gf. She's fuxked up tok and has been going to therapy for a long time now. I jope she'll get better and stop being a nigger, but i'm not too optimistic. I'm waiting for another bigger spergout from her to actually breka up with her. I don't want to seem childish.

Chud 05/30/26 (Sat) 03:28:14 №89804 [Quote]

>>89802
By that i mean like, i don't want to break up over something smaller so i won'r be deemed as the childish one

Chud 05/30/26 (Sat) 13:05:32 №89825 [Quote]

>>89802
She asked me out btw, and in my brain i just told myself "why not". It was somewhat of a mistake