/r9k/ - ROBOT9999

sorry if i sound retarded, im esl and shieeeet. also no ><nigger spaces
im so tired of the lack of communication. in two months that ive been lurking here, ive typed more text than in the previous few years of my internet life. this is one of the few places online that doesnt make me nauseous(except qa). i clearly missed its heyday, cause chatting on a board with 5 pee pee ash isnt really fun, but i kinda like it anyway. i hadnt been on imageboards before btw, browsed 'cuck a bit, but there's so much porn everywhere it's unbearable.

overall, i feel like my life is meaningless. every day, i jump from one distraction to another until its time to go to sleep. mostly watch jewtube or masturbate. its a neverending cycle. i dont have any friends and have never had anyone i was truly close to. irl i feel like people are disgusted by me. online all my halfhearted attempts to chat with someone end with them ghosting me. even if we did start discussing something, that person would eventually ghost me anyway, just because im a sad boring faggot. and even if we some how get a bit closer, ill eventually ghost them myself cause they dont meet some specific criteria for my "perfect friend" image or for some other retarded reason. yet i feel like all my problems are caused by the fact that i never had someone to really talk to. i just dont know what to do. every online community wether feels like flock of circlejerking faggots or has been abandoned for ages and is 90% made up of newfags and passers-by.

sometimes thoughts about wasted time come flooding in, i may cry a bit, but in the end, the cycle repeats itself and i go with the flow again. every other normie is just as ambitionless and amorphous as i am. idk.

i think ill read reppeys and get off the shitty too, idk.