/r9k/ - ROBOT9999

I remember you made that post about your degree a while ago

I used to have a decent friend group around the time I was doing my GCSEs. After those finished, nearly everybody stayed in the same school to do 6th form, but I wasn't in the same classes as any of them. I kinda orbited some other groups in the common room and stuff, but they were incredibly boring faggots that would do terrible things behind each others backs, so I distanced myself from them. Had a couple surface-level friendships with the new people who came in but I know those are dead the second we are officially graduated. My best friend from year 7 changed a lot, and I found out he was manipulating a girl he had 0 interest in, and led her on just to test if he was a truecel or if he could get a girlfriend if he wanted, and dumped her the second he got some confirmation that he could. Nobody else knew about this, and it was pretty clear he was a fucking psycho since he felt no remorse for toying with somebody's feelings. Since I found out a month or two ago I have been more or less completely alone, doebeit I was alone in lessons the last 2 years anyway. I had my last actual day of school 2 days ago. I don't know how to feel about it. I desperately need a fresh new set of people to be around, so I can "reinvent" myself and make better friends hopefully, but at the same time with the end of school my social life is at a huge risk. I'm going to force myself to be a lot more outgoing in uni, even if I don't enjoy it it will be worth it if I can have some friends. I don't want uni to go like 6th form, where I sit nearly completely alone for a couple years, and have nothing to show for it other than a degree.
>I'm 18, don't ban be jannies
I wish I had a friend I could talk to about more personal things. I can speak into the void of the sharty all I want, but it will never fill the gap that one good friend can fill. Having surface level friends is all fine and dandy when theres nothing hard or wrong in your life, and you just muck around, but the second things get rough these people disappear and you realise just how truly alone you are. I'm hoping that by getting a campus job, forcing myself to talk to people around me in lectures, and going to a gorillion societies in first year I can find at least some people to talk to.

My whole life I have always been in groups which are "outcasts" i guess. I want to change that in uni. I'm not a giga sperg who is hated by people, I just tend to stick with those groups because it is easier to talk to them. It would be great to be friends with popular people, that way I am exposed to even more people, its not a good space to be if you are the only friend of some other guy, there is normally a reason they are alone.

>>87402
>I remember you made that post about your degree a while ago
haha yeah now i've firmly made my decision
>Had a couple surface-level friendships with the new people who came in but I know those are dead the second we are officially graduated
pLenty of those as well, they were pretty much the only reason why i didn't eat alone during break/lunch or during gym where we had to be with a group or smt
>he was a fucking psycho since he felt no remorse for toying with somebody's feelings
wtf
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>I don't want uni to go like 6th form, where I sit nearly completely alone for a couple years, and have nothing to show for it other than a degree.
yeah thats the right way to see uni as. to be honest its kind of on me for not interacting with people in uni despite being in a different country and all, although i was probably just depressed for the majority of the time and had no motivation to get out there

>>87402
>it will never fill the gap that one good friend can fill.
this is the real problem with this "loneliness epidemic", guys like us simply just are unfulfilled in this way (and personally have been for a long time)
> I'm hoping that by getting a campus job, forcing myself to talk to people around me in lectures, and going to a gorillion societies in first year I can find at least some people to talk to.
perfect goals in mind, hope it goes well for you
>My whole life I have always been in groups which are "outcasts" i guess. I want to change that in uni.
>It would be great to be friends with popular people, that way I am exposed to even more people, its not a good space to be if you are the only friend of some other guy
i relate a lot, though my circles were like around average but nothing spectacular apart from being part of a shitty football team.
it felt like throughout my years i always sat in this limbo where i was too normal for outcasts but too weird for popularity
now i get to decide again, i really just want to have a proper and healthy social life in uni this time
<readit
>there is normally a reason they are alone.
maybe so, but is that really a good reason to not talk to someone? if they have no friends they prob are just looking for someone just like me?
sounds like the just world fallacy but anyway

thanks for sharing your view

>>87362 (OP)
>im an adult dont 'ape me jannies

i was homeschooled until tenth grade and never learned social skills or how to make friends. i never had many deep friendships (or surface level friends for that matter) besides a few people, who have since gone after school. i really dont have friends irl besides this one woman who loves to hangout with me

>>87362 (OP)
having lots of friends is tiring, sometimes you just become friends with random faggots you dont know how to break away from and then they become part of a main circle and its just energy draining. i dont want to hang out or go to some niggas dorm unless something cool is happening but ill do it anyways to stay informed and well known.

>>87435
I don't mean that its not worth talking to loners. Its just not good if they are your only friends. You won't make more friends through them, or meet anyone knew through them in general, so its kind of a dead end. When I mean alone, I mean more those which are sort of rejected from groups, not those that are drifting around without a group. If someone is actively disliked there tends to be a reason. I'm not great at wording things.

Some people seem to think that the only type of loneliness is the completely alone, doesn't speak to anyone kind. I'd say its worse to be able to speak to people, to have acquaintances, but not having that specific group of friends. It really does suck to know deep down that you value the people around you a lot more than they do you. The biggest example is whenever birthdays come around. I don't make a fuss of mine, so I got like 2-3 messages and that was it. Another guy in the group is a lot more popular, and ev&doe he didn't mention his birthday at all either, people were buying gifts, making huge cards where everyone wrote long messages, and were planning things. I haven't given a damn about my birthday in a while but it still sucks knowing that people will go to this extent for another person, and outside of my family barely anyone cares fan about mine.

On the topic of feeling unfulfilled, I must have been feeling like that since year 10. Around that time my best friend (the one i've dropped) was acting a bit weird too, and I felt the need for a new set of people to interact with. I thought that the new people coming in at 6th form would help, but generally I'd only have 1 of my 3 classes with someone, and maybe a club, so there wasn't much time for anything to develop. In a way this might have been a good thing (cope), I've heard a lot of horror stories of things that went on at house parties, and I only went to 2 birthday parties in y13 and nothing in y12, so it was tame. I think the issue was that there were still enough people from before that the atmosphere didn't change much. Uni should give me a shot at having a real change.

Its good to be able to talk about this stuff somewhere, thank you.