№87198[Quote]
This is my first time making a post on /r9k/, but I felt that this was a good place to ask my question since I have been lurking for a few months. I did the robot test a while back and got "cyborg," so I don't know if you guys will be able to relate all that well, especially considering how messed up this post is going to be, but it's anonymous, so it doesn’t really matter that much anyway.
The point of this post is that I need help. Yesterday, I was hanging out with a friend, and we were having a serious conversation. I end up remembering that I was raped by my father when I was very very very young, it had completely escaped my mind until that point (I am a male btw). I realized it messed me up. Not in a conscious way, because I didn’t understand what was happening when I was getting raped, so I wasn’t really that disturbed at the time, but in my subconscious. I ended up finding out about porn through it indirectly, and porn as well as masturbation has fucked up my life pretty bad ever since. My lust has crept so heavily into my life that when I am online in games and other social platforms, or even the rare times I go outside, when I see someone, my mind will sometimes wander into sexual or romantic thoughts, even without talking to them. I used to go on walks all the time, but whenever I would see someone, even if they didn’t even look at me, I would get these visions or thoughts that they wanted to fuck me or get with me. I have to chastise myself for it because 1. It's absolutely despicable. I actually despise uncontrolled lust (partially because of my addiction and partially because of my raped subconscious). I want to be comfortable with myself and my lust, because at the end of the day, I think that lust is human, but I don’t want to hurt anyone. How can I rewire my brain to escape my lust and addiction? This has been weighing on me pretty heavily, so any and all advice is appreciated.
№87199[Quote]
If you got raped by your father early on this is pretty deep in your subconscious. Might be worth seeing what a psychologist can do for you. I don't know if I can recommend anything else.
№87200[Quote]
>>87199I already have one. I haven't brought up any of the lust stuff to him because I didn't see it as a real problem until yesterday when it was recontextualized by me getting raped by my father. But I think I will bring it up at our next session. Thank you.
№87205[Quote]
>>87198 (OP)my first question is. are you a third worlder? this might just be a 3-rd world mindset
№87206[Quote]
Nope, east coast U.S. Although my dad is partly Filipino, I am mostly German and Irish. I don't think I got many on the Filipino genes considering I look very white in my skin color and phenotype.
№87207[Quote]
>>87198 (OP)>My lust has crept so heavily into my life that when I am online in games and other social platforms, or even the rare times I go outside, when I see someone, my mind will sometimes wander into sexual or romantic thoughts, even without talking to them.abandon porn completely, if its mind raping you this much consider watching it a death-or-life situation. just ignore your lustful thoughts and don't encourage them
>>87206>pedophile faggot>brownit usually is. sorry OP, i guess try to find a way to cope with the sexual assault with a shrink or something
№87208[Quote]
>>87207tsmt. i've been damaged by porn so badly i don't even think of going back to it
№87210[Quote]
>>87207>abandon porn completelythats easier said than done tbh. im having a really hard time with this
id recommend OP to check out r/NoFap. they have a pretty good guide (or at least they used to) on how to stop your porn addiction.
its also useful seeing the experiences of other dudes and what theyve gone through to leave this addiction behind.
№87211[Quote]
>>87210I don't recommend quitting porn and wanking at the same time. Lust is a lot harder to quit than a porn addiction. Work on quitting porn first, it isn't too hard to do so, then once you are fine without porn, start to quit jacking off entirely.
№87212[Quote]
>>87210nigger. just don't fap, its that easy
№87214[Quote]
>>87207That's what I'm trying to do but I end up falling into these traps where I convince myself that it's not that bad and I end up watching it again.
>>87210I can't believe I'm being transferred to reddit by /r9k/ geg. But I'll check it out. Thanks for the tip.
>>87211That makes sense but I really only jerk off to porn and stuff so I'll probably end up quitting both at the same time.
>>87212That's what I thought too, but then I ended up with this pattern where I said to myself "well I can quit anytime I want cause its really easy, so I can do it right now without consequence."
№87215[Quote]
My main fear is that even I was able to kick the habit those disturbing thoughts would remain. What if I am just a creep?
№87216[Quote]
>>87211this, high iq tip
>>87212if it was that easy no one would be addicted to it.
i dont have enough will power for that
>>87214>I can't believe I'm being transferred to reddit by /r9k/ geg.i know lol but its not ur average subreddit.
№87217[Quote]
>>87214>That's what I'm trying to do but I end up falling into these traps where I convince myself that it's not that bad and I end up watching it again. nigger. make it life or death
>>87216>if it was that easy no one would be addicted to it.acknowledge that it is terrible for you and doing terrible things to your mind and perma-raping your dopamine receptors and if you continue, one day you'll probably become impotent
№87218[Quote]
>>87217I might be retarded but I can't just make a situation life or death to suit my needs. I could research the dangers of chronic masturbation and porn addiction and that might help to keep my head straight.
№87220[Quote]
>>87215I'm still worried about this. I don't know if there is a correlation between these thoughts and my addiction. I think it's at least sort of because I have very little history of social interaction with people who aren't online degenerates. But if I meet new people in real life then I get those thoughts again, so it's a vicious cycle. Has anyone else delt with this before? How did you over come it (if you did overcome it). Or how do you live with it if it's just a part of who you are? I'm not a really the type to idealize suicide but I really hate myself and my life whenever these visions enter my head.
№87221[Quote]
>>87220The more common an action is, the more space it occupies in your mind. Everybody occasionally has lustful thoughts, but if you stop 'ooning, or even just do it less frequently, those thoughts will be less often too. You can't be completely lust-free unless you have no libido.
Don't ACK. I used to have a lot of lustful thoughts too, and would sexualise most women I would see, it was very bad. Me being in a single-sex school didn't help, I had very little interactions with girls my age, so I had no grounded view on women and all my thoughts of women were in a sexual manner. You need to de-porn your brain, continue talking to your psychologist about it, follow their advice, and the thoughts will go away too.
№87222[Quote]
>>87221Thanks a lot, great advice. Will be following this, checking out r/nofap and researching the dangers of gooning and porn consumption.
Thanks everyone, hopefully I can get over this.
№87230[Quote]
One thing I do want to say for anyone who comes across my post. I can not tell you what to do, but in my opinion, ignoring your creepy thoughts and letting them ruminate is not good. Having lust is normal, wanting romantic connection is normal, wanting that with every random person you see is not. And by ignoring those thoughts you are unintentionally telling your mind that those thoughts are okay. By practicing spotting when you are having those thoughts about someone you don't know at all, and chastising them as they appear, you can train yourself through conditioning to not have those thoughts of random people.
№87231[Quote]
>>87198 (OP)How old were you when this happened? I think your father infected you with parasites and they've "rewired" your brain for this uncontrollable lust. Early life infections are the strongest. Deworm first, this way you'll be able to easily control your sexual behaviour, and then it will be purely psychological trauma to correct.
№87277[Quote]
>>87240All I know is that I was incredibly young, maybe 4 or 5? I'm not quite at the point of medicating myself with anti-parasitic drugs to get over my sexual trauma yet geg. Plus, the brain worms gotta live somewhere, why not in my brain.
№87287[Quote]
AY YALL THIS NIGGA GOT RAPED BY HIS FATHER LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
№87289[Quote]
>>87287Sorry, but I'm not a fish. Bait isn't my thing.
№87298[Quote]
>This is my first time making a post on /r9k/, but I felt that this was a good place to ask my question since I have been lurking for a few months. I did the robot test a while back and got "cyborg," so I don't know if you guys will be able to relate all that well, especially considering how messed up this post is going to be, but it's anonymous, so it doesn’t really matter that much anyway.
>
> The point of this post is that I need help. Yesterday, I was hanging out with a friend, and we were having a serious conversation. I end up remembering that I was raped by my father when I was very very very young, it had completely escaped my mind until that point (I am a male btw). I realized it messed me up. Not in a conscious way, because I didn’t understand what was happening when I was getting raped, so I wasn’t really that disturbed at the time, but in my subconscious. I ended up finding out about porn through it indirectly, and porn as well as masturbation has fucked up my life pretty bad ever since. My lust has crept so heavily into my life that when I am online in games and other social platforms, or even the rare times I go outside, when I see someone, my mind will sometimes wander into sexual or romantic thoughts, even without talking to them. I used to go on walks all the time, but whenever I would see someone, even if they didn’t even look at me, I would get these visions or thoughts that they wanted to fuck me or get with me. I have to chastise myself for it because 1. It's absolutely despicable. I actually despise uncontrolled lust (partially because of my addiction and partially because of my raped subconscious). I want to be comfortable with myself and my lust, because at the end of the day, I think that lust is human, but I don’t want to hurt anyone. How can I rewire my brain to escape my lust and addiction? This has been weighing on me pretty heavily, so any and all advice is appreciated. I was raped btw
№87312[Quote]
>>87277Sounds horrible. Yeah, they live in your gut and release chemicals called xenagons which alter your hormone levels and behavior. Most human hormone synthesis goes on in guts, it's perfect place to disrupt whole thing. As long as you keep them alive your abnormal lust won't go away.