/r9k/ - ROBOT9999

It's obvious that the sharty has been continually declining in the quality of its content and its users over the past year (at the very least), and the fact that this place has such a high user turnover rate but also attracts so many undesirable brappers from mainstream social media seems to coincide with this.

I've thought about using a forum like the shroom, the boorum or even kiwifarms instead, given that imageboards are a dying medium, but I'm not sure if could actually commit to using one. I like the idea of being recognised, but I'm also too averse to using a name or permanent identifier to ever become a part of any online community in a meaningful sense. I feel like whenever I'm posting anonymously I can say almost whatever I want, but if I were to post somewhere with a username and permanent account history, I have to put thought and purpose into every post or reply I make, even if it's only on a shitposting website frequented by less than 200 people. I'm also very prone to embarrassing myself, and fucking up feels more impactful if it's going to be publicly available under my username as long as the website continues to exist, and possibly even longer if it was archived somewhere else. In real life, I'm used to trying to act boring, agreeable and accommodating, but online, the place where I should be able to express myself freely, I'm too afraid to do it wholeheartedly, and every time I've tried I've ended up feeling far, far worse than I would have if I had just sat on my hands and done nothing.

Realistically, how do I overcome this feeling and stop caring about how I'm perceived by others once and for all, or should I just not bother and continue with my no-stakes no-rewards anonymousfagging on this site indefinitely?