I turned 23 a couple of months ago and it’s truly beginning to dawn on me that I can’t turn the clock back. You see, I was 16 when the COVID lockdowns began. Back then it felt like the whole world was ahead of me. Truthfully, I hoped something like COVID w

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Accepting getting older Chud 09/23/26 (Wed) 06:47:36 №100046 [Quote]

I turned 23 a couple of months ago and it’s truly beginning to dawn on me that I can’t turn the clock back. You see, I was 16 when the COVID lockdowns began. Back then it felt like the whole world was ahead of me. Truthfully, I hoped something like COVID would happen every day before school: some sort of catastrophe that would allow me to stay home for months.

Well, like everything else in my life, it was handed to me. I slowly became a NEET. I didn’t get good enough grades to enter the university I wanted. I’ve been in and out of community college for years, not knowing what to study. After years of infrequent employment and college enrollment, I have to face up to the fact that I no longer have forever.

It has been seven years since I was 16. In seven years I will be 30. In two years, I will be 25 - the age in which physical aging begins. My physical peak is rapidly approaching, and my adolescent youth lost. I am truly no longer a “kid”.

I never went out with my high school friends, we stayed inside and played video games online. I never did all the normal teenager things I see teenagers do when I go to the mall. It hurts a little. No, it hurts a lot, that I never did those things. It hurt when I WAS in high school, seeing those normal teens do normal teen things. Seven years later, it hurts less but… it still hurts.

But I’m not decrepit. I only obtained the right to purchase alcohol two years ago. Two. Just two. Am I young? No. But I sure as hell ain’t old. I can never redo high school. I may never redo college. I may never have a “normal” college experience. Of course it hurts. It hurts I wasn’t a normal kid, but an autistic nerd. Of course I am filled with regret.

But I need to learn to look forward, not back, because that’s what I’ve been doing for the past five years. It’s felt like life has slipped from my fingers, but I’m not barred from it. I just need to accept the mistakes I made, and learn. I can never be a kid again, but I can be an adult.

Those movies and TV shows I watched over the years, with the “normal” high school and college experiences… only the privileged get those things. Only they get those “memories”. I may never have that, but maybe I can have something new. Something that isn’t based off a Hollywood fantasy of youth. So I accept it. I’m not a kid anymore and I never will be again. It doesn’t matter how depressing my life has been, I will just look forward.

Chud 09/23/26 (Wed) 07:17:31 №100052 [Quote]

based thread. i need to learn to accept this myself fr fr

Chud 09/23/26 (Wed) 07:59:09 №100056 [Quote]

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>>100046 (OP)
Hitting 23 soon too. Really worried about missing my "meet a foid" timeframe. I was robbed of a normal youth due to shitty doctors mistreating my food poisoning and only recently can I be considered normal. I spent most of my time in my teens playing vidya with my friends and making autism projects like green-screening ytps and modifying nerf guns. All my friends went to university or became independent, and found a GF, they don't talk to me anymore because they have more important things to focus on in life.

I've spent the last two years programming a game under the pretext that in my current state ( I was genuienly crippled, shat blood, could eat anything but boiled food, etc ) there's zero reason putting any effort in socializing with new people. I was switched onto a new medicine which I need to be injected with every 3 months ( and costs tax payers a fuck ton ) and now I don't have a terrible time on the toilet / can eat normally, but my bmi is still in the shitter (16.8).

I'm really flipflopping on whether I should download an app like hinge. I need a foid. Last one dumped me because I couldn't hide muh crippledness anymore.

Chud 09/23/26 (Wed) 08:24:20 №100063 [Quote]

>>100052
Thank you brother. It’s difficult but the alternative is death. Might as well start picking a side.
>>100056
>I spent most of my time in my teens playing vidya with my friends and making autism projects like green-screening ytps and modifying nerf guns.
Yeah, I did my share of autism projects too. Was working on an animated pilot I lost most of my progress from. It was around 30% complete. I wonder how different my life would’ve been if I had finished that pilot, and gone to uni for animation. Also Geg I made a couple YTPs myself, they’re all lost now.
>All my friends went to university or became independent, and found a GF, they don't talk to me anymore because they have more important things to focus on in life.
I don’t know if my friends found GFs but they all went to uni and I didn’t. We fell out of contact after COVID, we were just too different. They liked history and FPS games while I was more artsy so we didn’t have much in common. I guess I can’t blame them for not talking to you anymore, just as I can’t blame my old friends. If I was in their shoes I’d probably do the same thing, but I’m autistic so that didn’t work out.
>I've spent the last two years programming a game under the pretext that in my current state ( I was genuienly crippled, shat blood, could eat anything but boiled food, etc ) there's zero reason putting any effort in socializing with new people.
Better than me. For three years I’ve been daydreaming a game instead of making it. I got a bunch of scenes and secrets planned out in my head but I haven’t tried making it. Maybe it would exacerbate my social isolation, so I’m hesitant to plunge into game dev. Even if I want to, I think it’d be bad for me. Also damn I’m sorry for that shit you went through. Truthfully, sometimes I wish I was crippled so that I wouldn’t have to worry about socialization, as fucked as that is. Going through what you did, I’d likely hate it.
>I was switched onto a new medicine which I need to be injected with every 3 months ( and costs tax payers a fuck ton ) and now I don't have a terrible time on the toilet / can eat normally, but my bmi is still in the shitter (16.8).
My BMI is fucking 27. Gained 25 pounds in the past few months because I cope with junk food.
>I'm really flipflopping on whether I should download an app like hinge. I need a foid. Last one dumped me because I couldn't hide muh crippledness anymore.
You know man, if you’re attractive they’ll approach you or give signals in real life. That’s what’s happened to me over the years. I’ve always fucked up recognizing signals, or I’d ignore them cause I wouldn’t wanna get accused of harassment. Just saying man, the apps never worked for me but irl I got some attention before becoming a NEET. So maybe looksmaxx or something so you don’t have to jestermaxx, but I don’t know you.

I’m sorry about your youth man. But at least there’s people like you out there. We don’t say it out loud, but young guys like us are out there lurking in the shadows. COVID fucked us up badly. If you feel ready I’d try Hinge. More of us young people need to begin crawling back into the real world, in fact many young women prefer singles nights over dating apps from what I read in the media. I’m grateful I didn’t go through what you did, but at least you did something productive with that time. You made the best of it.

Chud 09/23/26 (Wed) 08:50:49 №100067 [Quote]

>>100063
>My BMI is fucking 27. Gained 25 pounds in the past few months because I cope with junk food.
I guess we're opposites in this aspect because I can't get full as of now ( I feel the discomfort of fullness while still hungry ), let alone eat (or smell) anything processed without feeling like I have to puke xd

>if you’re attractive they’ll approach you or give signals in real life. That’s what’s happened to me over the years
One thing I've slowly learnt is that in the social world, they key is being able to talk to whoever (people, foids) as if they're family on the spot. You need this sort of comfort if you're going to get anywhere. I was trying to make it work with a russian girl before but we were just too different socially…

Foids only ever found me attractive for my height anyway, and only during cold seasons when I can hide my thin body under clothes, lol.

Chud 09/23/26 (Wed) 09:15:56 №100069 [Quote]

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>>100063
>For three years I’ve been daydreaming a game instead of making it. I got a bunch of scenes and secrets planned out in my head but I haven’t tried making it. Maybe it would exacerbate my social isolation, so I’m hesitant to plunge into game dev. Even if I want to, I think it’d be bad for me.
Honestly, game dev is not a fun industry to work in.

Steam does not reward creativity. The steam store is full of gimmicky slop like Waterpark Simulator or How to Fish because gaming now is mostly normie cattle, and these are the games they want to play. If you go off the beaten path and lose the normie audience, the game dev industry will be very cruel to you in most cases. Yeah there are games like Blue Prince and Mewgenics, but those are a tiny exception to the rule. And those guys were working for like 10+ years with many previous games and teams of many people built up.

It's cool if you just want to make a game for fun. But if you have any dreams of earning money from it, you have to change up your approach entirely. You have to basically enter the normie slop market and just make garbage games to be financially viable. Its sad but its true

Chud 09/23/26 (Wed) 09:31:45 №100070 [Quote]

>>100069
This. The mass market reality. It's sad but also the market is so overinflated by soyniggers who's ideas are actually dogshit and unoriginal and shallow.

Chud 09/23/26 (Wed) 12:14:13 №100085 [Quote]

I'm turning 23 next month and I kind of feel like this. My teenage years were well spent with friends outside but from 18 to 21 I was working a miserable full-time job that drained my energy and stressed me out. This time last year I quit it and got a far better job but I still feel like I've lost the first three years of my adult life.

Chud 09/23/26 (Wed) 12:15:25 №100086 [Quote]

>>100056
I'm really concerned about this as well. I'm 18 and have had a single girl I could consider somewhat a friend in like 8 years. I went to a boys only school from 11-16 so I got stunted in that department as well. I can't relate with OP in terms of career, I'm going into engineering, but this means that I have an incredibly small exposure to women, making my chances of finding one I am actually interested in very small.

I have never dated, or even asked someone out. Even if I did find an foid that I liked I would not be able to do more than become friends with her and pray that she likes me enough to ask me out.

The all-boys school fucked me up socially in general though. Half the school was jeets and chinks and even the ytpipo were generally tryhards at school, so nobody was actually doing anything fun for the first half, especially since there were the lockdowns. I only really started hanging out with friends, or doing anything with them really, after school around the age of 16. Its bad to the point that I must have spent less than 20 hours gaming with friends in the entire 6 years of secondary education. People were either robots that just studied then played the same normgroid games all the time with no personality, or bastards that would put on an act at school and do bad stuff in their own time, generally just abusing the latest foid they got in their roster. This has made me distrustful with people, as I can't tell if they are hiding that they are nasty.