/qa/ - Question & Answer

There's a namefag on the Soysphere who I have a strange affinity with, if it can be referred to as such. We have probably spoken with one another less than 15 times over the past year, only twice semi-meaningfully, and, by all definitions, they're a B-list namefag, simply because they're not a B00ru boogeyman of the month like Olgol or Warrior-Z or Jimbo or any of their primary shitflinging buddies. We only have a single interest in common, one that isn't particularly niche for the Soysphere, and that's it. Even still, every time I go on the B00ru, I usually end up checking their profile, sometimes multiple times per day. Every time I open a random namefag's profile, one of the first things I do is open their friends list and CTRL+F the B-list namefag's username, and I feel a tinge of disgust and hatred every time I see it pop up. Whenever I open a thread on this board that has a substantial amount of replies, I do the very same. I wouldn't call it a compulsion, but it's something I feel I have to do, oftentimes accompanied by pseudo-prophetic, magical thoughts of the implication of their name showing up. When I see them interacting with other people, especially in a positive manner, I am consumed with this sense of revulsion and contempt. I can't fully explain why, but I do. Remembering they exist is like watching a car crash in slow motion for me. It's horrible, but I can't take my eyes away. At least with mudslimes, shitskins and trannies, I hate them, and I know I hate them, and I know I will never be able to reconcile our differences, but with people like him, I cannot tell, and this perceived ambiguity makes me hate him even more. I hate many aspects of their self presentation, but I almost like others, and it all feels like a Jewish trick to deceive me. I know it's best to assume the worst, but sometimes I imagine us being friends, even if I refuse to interact with other people while using a non-temporary alias, i.e as a namefag. In my rational mind, I know they deserve to be killed, however.
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There's a non-zero chance that they're reading this, but there's a very, very low chance that they know it's about them. I wish I could keep you in a little jar with an even littler computer for you to post your stupid blogs and musings on. I wish I could shake it up and down every time I was vexed, and I wish I could poke my big wigger lips in there and force you to listen to every word that I say. I wish we could be friends and I wish I could fucking kill you, you fucking Jewish nigger. I hope you get banned forever.