/q/ - Soyjak Party Meta

Dear /soy/

I need your advice as I am about to do something drastic to change my sex. My parents are okay with me doing this, they understand and now some jackass therapist has to do a full diagnosis on me to see what I already know: That I'm a transsexual. This will take a long time and after that there are still 12 months of taking hormones and living as a fake woman (I'll still have what I don't want, a dick) before they even consider doing the operation.
I saw on Jerry Springer once this guy who had body integrity identity disorder and wanted to lose his leg and he just sawed it off, then called paramedics. I'm thinking something similar, but can't bring myself to actually cutting off my dick and balls, since that would be slow and painful. Instead I am thinking of using my fathers gun to shoot myself in the dick and then quickly calling the ambulance.
My question here is what is wisdom? Since I was more in to girls stuff as a kid I never truly took up my dads offer to learn how to shoot a pistol right. Don't get me wrong I know a little but even had I taken shooting lessons he wouldn't have taught me this. I'm afraid that if I first put my penis on the desk in example, there may be shrapnel from the bullet as well as from the table. I really need advice here. What would be the best way to do this? And don't try to talk me out of this. I'm very determined to change in to a woman. Not in a year, not in several years, no, today.
Please help.