â„–3198097[Quote]
Yesterday I saw a xitter post saying that if Napoleon didn't exist and someone wrote a book about him people would be calling it the most retarded Mary Sue plot ever. I thought about that for a while, and I can now safely say that it's an a truthnuke. Just read this entire thing I wrote and tell me it doesn't sound made up as hell:
>Alright, so here's the main protagonist in my historical novel.
>He was born in the late 18th century on Corsica to a poor family.
>While he studied in France to become an artillery officer, he was ridiculed by his peers for being a foreigner, but he didn't care because he was the smartest guy in the platoon and passed all of his exams effortlessly
>During the French revolution he proved himself multiple times by taking over losing positions from other officers and winning them until he was promoted to the rank of Captain in 1792 at just 23 years of age
>In 1793 he was assigned along with three other commanders to lead the siege of Toulon, where the ill-equipped starving republican force was supposed to take a heavily fortified city that was guarder by tens of thousands of royalists and more than 70 ships from Spain and Britain.
>Naturally, Napoleon took over the command because he was so cool and charismatic, and he singlehandedly won the siege with a casualty ratio of 1 to 3 in his favor.
>Also he got wounded in battle because he's very cool and fights is own battles, but the injury didn't result in any long lasting consequences.
>For that victory he was promoted to Brigadier General at 24.
>He then spent years going around Europe and winning every single battle he fought in, got promoted to Division General at 26, and the government sent him to Egypt because they became afraid he might take over France.
>In 1799, at the age of 30, he came back and took over France.
>He then spent 15 years in a row fighting literally the entirety of Europe, winning every single battle, and subjugating the entire continental Europe, blockading British trade completely as a result.
>Oh and also he casually created a legal system that is still used in most of Europe.
>Oh and also he was anointed in Rome as the emperor and literally snatched the crown from the pope's hands to show his superiority.
>In 1814, after the disasterous Russian campaign (where he won every single battle but was forced to withdraw because winter came and the Russians employed scorched earth tactic to destroy his supply line), he suffered a dramatic defeat and was forced to abdicate because his generals betrayed him and gave up Paris without a fight. The English wanted to behead this lowborn usurper, but everyone else forbade them because they were afraid that the people of France might rise up and kill the king to avenge Napoleon. And so he was exiled to an island in the Mediterranean.
>In 1815 he came back to France, and an army was sent to kill him. He walked up to them, and they all refused to shoot and joined him instead.
>He marched to Paris, with every single regiment sent after him ending up under his command, and took power again.
>He was finally defeated in the extremely dramatic last battle at Waterloo by his very charismatic nemesis Duke of Wellington who had enormous respect for Napoleon. Many of his soldiers refused to surrender even when they got completely surrounded and willingly met their deaths on the battlefield.
>He was exiled to a far away island (once again because they were afraid of a potential uprising), and they also tried to poison him to get rid of him quietly because they were afraid he might return, but the poison didn't work, and he died of natural causes. The end.
>Oh and also in 1848 his grandson enterd the election promising that he would restore the empire and declare himself the emperor if he'd won, and he got like 90% of the votes and delivered all of that.
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did not read a single syllable, but bump out of pity
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Read every word
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You have VPN so I take everything you say with a grain of salt
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Wonderful story. If only real history were as riveting.