/pol/ - International Politics & Banter

You are suddenly awoken by a loud pounding on the door. An unpleasant jolting sensation passes through you like a shockwave. Your body, still heavy from sleep, slowly comes back to life. Your shock turns to annoyance as you turn your head to face the clock on your bedside table. 3:00 AM. Who the hell is knocking at your door at 3AM? A second round of pounding at the door shakes you to your senses, and you sit up straight. You feel your heart racing. A cold sweat slowly creeps down your spine and the hairs on the back of your neck begin to rise. *Nothing good ever visits at 3AM*

You rise from your bed, and slowly stumble forward towards the hallway. An object on top of your dresser briefly catches your eye as you walk by. Your phone. *You should probably call the police.* But you are already at the end of the hallway by the time the thought registers.

\*THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!*
*The sound is deafening. It permeates your soul…*

You're standing in front of the door now, unsure of what lurks on the other side. You slowly retract the deadbolt, your heart pounding in your throat as you slowly turn the door handle. And then, as you slowly pull the door open, you hear it…

"UwU!"

You back away in horror. *It's him…he has found you!* You reach out in a desperate attempt to close the deadbolt, but it is too late. With a loud THUD, he kicks open the door. You stand there momentarily stunned, his fluffy white foot mere inches from your face. The smell of cocoa butter overpowers your senses as the image of his silky smooth, pastel pink toe beans fills the periphery of your vision. *They are so perfect…too perfect…*

He lowers his foot, releasing you from your transitive state. Now he is standing there in your doorway…just standing there…..menacingly gogogogogoThat smug little grin on his fluffy white facegogogogogo Those seductive bedroom eyes staring deep into your soulgogogogogogo

You step back as he steps into the room. Your foot catches on something, and you fall backward. As you land on the floor, you suddenly remember kicking off your shoes earlier that day, leaving them carelessly in front of the door. *What were you thinking? How could you have been so careless?*

He stands over you, looking down with the same smug expression. From the corner of his mouth, you see the tip of his tongue emerge. It slowly and seductively glides across his lips before retreating into the opposite corner. A fresh new wave of fear washes over you as you feel a cold wet droplet of saliva strike your cheek. *He hungers…and you're looking more and more like a snack…*

You desperately try to crawl away, only to find yourself backed into a corner. He closes in, arms outstretched. Terror overcomes you as you realize you have nowhere left to run…nowhere left to hide… *This is it….this is how you die…*

He bends down and puts one of his fluffy paws on your shoulder. You try to shake him off, but your body won't move. He leans in closer. You feel his warm steamy breath washing over your entire face. His whiskers tickling your cheek. You feel so vulnerable and naked as you stare into his dreamy black eyes. And right before everything around you goes dark, you hear him whisper, "You like kissing boys……don't you?!"