/mtv/ - Media and Interests

I was going to post a manifesto on women as a post but I'll just comment on this because it's related.

I've grown up surrounded by women my entire life. 2 little sisters, stay at home mom for most of my childhood, my ex of 10 years had 2 little sisters. I have two kids, daughters, with her. Most of my close friends have been women. Point is, as much as a man can understand women, I think Ive been around enough of them that I can.

Whatever we as men consider to be "empathy" doesn't format to the female experience. It's ironic because a few years back I started seeing criticism of men who advocate for women's rights by saying things like "what if that was YOUR daughter. What if that was YOUR wife." And the implication was that men couldn't empathize with women without relation to them. But women's level of empathy comes ENTIRELY from their experience. The concept of putting themselves in someone else's mind is truly impossible for them. Women will cry when they see something sad, hug someone who they feel needs a hug, but the experience of empathy rather than sympathy is nearly impossible for them until they're literally in the same situation.

Men in my experience who are trying to get with women will often think about what they want. What makes them look good in the eyes of the woman they're trying to be with. And it's fun because women are usually purely observing, totally unaware and uninterested in the internal chess match a man is playing in his head during this process.

Tangentially, the men who do best with women in my experience are the ones who didn't grow up with hardly any women in their home. The dudes with 3 brothers. They live and move in such a way where the female gaze isn't a pIart of how they make their decisions. For some reason a lot of women find this attractive. It's a pureness that I think appeals to them. There's no internal struggle or apprehension. The men who do the worst with women are those who have, through their experiences or intuition, learned that women don't always say exactly what they truly want or need from a man. That realization leads them to think the overtly machismo, boorish and rude behavior is the key to what women want from men. And that's not it either. Women can smell intent and desperation unlike any other creature on earth.

But the funniest moments are these. When a woman tries to play the part of a man only to be forced into such a stark cognitive dissonance that their minds and their hearts are in eternal conflict with one another, that they post or say something approaching what a man would consider "empathy". It's like watching a baby with down syndrome say it's first words. Like watching a monkey type on a keyboard. It's cute, but the true realization will never actually come.