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№104036[Last 50 Posts][1][2][3][4][Quote]
It has been one year and three months since Cobman and his Cobgang sacrificed themselves to defeat the goonbot and save shartenburg from absolute destruction. In that time shartenburg has changed a lot, Goon Gang is no more, a prison colony has been built in order to contain leftover gooners and other dangerous criminals and the shartenburg museum now stands where the Goon Gang HQ once stood.
For one year shartenburg was relatively peaceful, as the national guard had organized themselves under the command of mayor Soot, but now the situation is changing yet again…
<Suspense space
With no hero to protect shartenburg, new villains are rising. In the shadows lurks the Merchant, a former member of the shartenburg council who has gone rouge and is now resorting to robbery and heists to fulfill his kikeish greed…
<Yapping space
An even more dangerous villain has risen in the form of Commander Coal, a former general of the national guard who defected to collaborate with the gooners.
Commander Coal went his own way after the gooners were banished from this universe. He has created his own militia and with the help of them he will soon try to overthrow soot in a bloody coup to achive his ultimate goal: Becoming the supreme leader of shartenburg.
<Final wordswordswords space
Luckily, a new ”hero” has arrived in the form of Captain Science, an obese soyboy LARPer and Cobman superfan who is larping as a real hero. He must now stop the plans of Commander Coal and the merchant, but first he must become and actual hero.
He is now on his 561th daily visit to the grave of Cobman, very close to the encampment of Coal’s forces. There he meets an unexpected guest…
BEGIN!
You place a funkopop in front of Cobman’s grave while crying tears of true sadness.
>*sniff* accept this….funkopop..please*sniff*, i know you are dead and according to science ghosts aren’t real so you probably can’t hear me but still…please acc-
You hear a sound behind you, you look to the left and see a familiar figure.
You wipe your tears away and look at the heckin’ cobgang legend.
>OH MY SCIENCE! Are you heckin’ colorjak from the cobgang?
<yes…
It turns out that colorjak has learned how to speak in non-gibberish…
First reply decides first action after this post, after that i will include most replies as long as it does not derail the story too much.
№104037[Quote]
WE ARE BACKKKKKKKKKK
№104038[Quote]
Ask colorjak for advice on how to be a real hero
№104039[Quote]
TLDR: There are two villains that you must defeat. One of them wants to start a soyvil war and overthrow soot and the other wants to steal and sheit(They may be working together to achive a more complicated goal). Captain Science must defeat them, but first he must train and a bunch of other sheit.
№104042[Quote]
>>104040captain science decides that he needs to get some actual real gadgets not just marvel themed toys and obtain and drink a vial of vril he needs to break into the gem cave and find anything that will help him there
№104043[Quote]
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>>104042>what if i broke into the gemcave? I heard that there are a lot of heckin’ sceincetastic gadgets and gear in thereColorjak gets a bit frustrated.
<Don’t you know that the gemcave is now closed off? If you make it there you would probably get arrested…i heard that Soot is working on something in there that he does not want you to know about… №104045[Quote]
>>104043captain science decides to head to the nearest comicslop store to buy some heckin awesomerino gadgets
№104046[Quote]
Next post will be kinda complex, thats why it’s taking time
№104049[Quote]
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>>104045You decide to head to COB COMIX to buy the newest cobman themed gadgets.
You are greeted by a very soy looking fella.
>welcome to Cob Comix! Here we have eveything from cobman comics, cobman merch and cobman gandgets, anything you can imagine to honor his legacy!>Can i buy some gadgets please?A UI element pops up, it shows all the gadgets currently avalible.
Those are:
>cobman’s grappling hook>sematary’s chainsaw>king caca’s staff>baby swede’s poopTIME TO ROLL!If the first reply ends with 1, 2 or 3 you buy the grappling hook, if 4 or 5 you buy the chainsaw, if 6 or 7 you buy the staff and if 8 or 9 you buy the poop.
(You) do the rolling!
№104051[Quote]
>>104049oh my fauci..weapons for cobman 1 so heckin wholesomerino
№104052[Quote]
looks like we buy the poop saar
№104053[Quote]
Cameo from Detective Feraljak cause his adventure thread died
№104055[Quote]
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>>104051>>104052Rolled 9, so poop it is.>i want the poop, swede baby was such a badass in the cobman tv show based on the the story!You buy the poop, a ’bought shit award’ appears for comedic effect.
>i was not expecting you to want that but okThe poop is now stored in your inventory, you can use it 10 times on enemies.
№104058[Quote]
>>104055now captain science needs to go train he goes to
the gym where he doesnt bother to do cardio just swings some dumbbells a couple of times
№104059[Quote]
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>>104058The new duo goes to the shartenburg never goon gym, the path is drawn on the map.
At the gym you swing some dumbbells, but that is all you can muster, as you have not worked out in several years.
№104060[Quote]
>>104059drink a bunch of sproke and fortified milk to regenerate your worked out muscles
then go visit your friend feraljak and ask him to join you on your adventure! you're gonna build a heckin keyed team just like cobman did!
№104061[Quote]
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>>104060You consoom some sproke and fortifierad milk, this regenerates your barely worked out muscles.
>i have an idea…You say.
5 hours later you arrive at your good friend feraljak’s house, located on the outskirts of shartenburg, outside of the map.
>FERAL! WE ARE BECOMING HECKIN SUPERHEROES JUST LIKE COBMAN!!!As always, you hear a voice from the other side scream.
<NOBODY’S HOME! №104062[Quote]
>>104061enter through the backdoor
№104063[Quote]
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>>104053>>104062You enter through the cellar door in the back, like you always used to do. Since colorjak is too big, he stays outside.
You climb up the stairs and see feraljak, turns out that he is larping as a real detective, just as you are larping as a real hero.
>pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease join our team<fine, if it means i get to kill some people then i’ll be ok with it №104064[Quote]
>>104063Tell him that we will kill a bunch of evil heckin bad guys and that we can even go to the gun store to buy feraljak a revolver to complete his larp cosplay
№104065[Quote]
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>>104064>yeah there are a lot of bad guys out there to kill, just like cobman did with the gooners!<who are those bad guys? I thought all criminals in the city were lynched by Soot after the goonie shitfest>uhh, nobody really knows but the media is saying that they are preparing to strike very soon<so?>i could buy you a revolver at the mcmutt gun store to complete your cosplay<im inFeraljak nods in agreement.
№104066[Quote]
>>104065The team goes to the gun store and captain science considers buying a heckin shotgun because cobman had a shotgun too at one point
№104067[Quote]
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>>104066The trio takes feraljak’s car and drives it to the same gun store that cobman visited a year ago.
<You remind me of someone or whatever, wasn’t that cob guy here before or something?>oh my science, he was, now give me that shotgun he had<There are only 3 shotguns for sale right now or somethingA shotgun roulette pops up.
>Gun 1(longest range)>Gun 2(fastest fire rate)>Gun 3(most damage)TIME TO ROLL AGAIN!If next reply ends in a single digit you buy gun 1, if dubs you buy gun 2 and if trips you buy gun 3.
If it ends with more than 3 repeating digits then you can’t afford any of the guns.
№104069[Quote]
looks like its shotgun 2
№104070[Quote]
>>104069Actually it’s 3, it ended with 3 digits repeating
№104072[Quote]
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>>104068Rolled trips, gun 3 it is
>i choose that one, it looks very gemmy<ok then or something along those linesYou now have a shotgun just like cobman had, you are literally HIM.
If you wish, i could do a roll for feraljak too.
№104073[Quote]
Heading to bed now
№104076[Quote]
Up
№104078[Quote]
Sorry, but some files got corrupted and now i have to remake almost all models.
№104079[Quote]
I will try to resume the adventure today, but after that expect me to take a break for a few days
№104080[Quote]
>>104077Feraljak’s roll will be a pistol roll.
№104081[Quote]
>>104079Shit maine, wish you luck on those redraw
№104082[Quote]
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>>104077Now is feraljak’s turn, he can choose between 3 pistols, as always (you) will roll for what pistol he buys(or if he can’t afford one)
>Revolver(medium damage)>Cucked revolver(very low damage)>Desert eagle(high damage)ROLLIN’ TIME!If the post number on the next reply ends with a number in the 1-3 range you buy the revolver, if 4-6 you buy the cucked revolver and if 7-8 you buy the deagle, if it ends with 9 feraljak can’t afford any of them.
№104084[Quote]
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>>104083ROLLED 9, FERALJAK CAN’T AFFORD!Feraljak realizes that he spent most of his money on bugs and meds, so he can’t afford any of the guns.
He gets angry at the mutt.
>why can’t it be CHEAPER!?Is there any other option?
№104085[Quote]
Up
№104086[Quote]
>>104084bribe the blackmutt with popeyes and mcdonalds
№104087[Quote]
>>104084tell the blackmutt there is a gyatted up rizzy down the block, so feral jak could steal from the 'mutt
>hmmm, should a white man be doing this? №104088[Quote]
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>>104086Feraljak brings forth a mcdonalds burger and popeyes chicken, that he for some reason had in his pockets, he gives it to the mutt.
The mutt drools at the sight of the goyslop
>you give me a pistol and i give you the food, deal?<umm yeah or whatever, but you only get the cucked revolver or somethingThe mutt hands over the cucked revolver.
№104089[Quote]
>>104088colorjak suggest to captain science that he goes back to the never goon gym to do a actual real workout captain science reluctantly accepts and the trio go back to the gym and workout for 2 hours
№104090[Quote]
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>>104089Feraljak grabs the revolver and puts it in his pocket.
<you must do REAL workout if you actually want to become a real hero, let’s go back to the gymCaptain science shrugs.
>i guessThe trio drives to the gym where Captain Science does le heckin self improovment, just like cobman would do.
After 2 hours he is done with the training, he has lost some of his fat, but has not gained that much muscle.
№104091[Quote]
Up
№104092[Quote]
ID test
№104093[Quote]
ID test 2
№104094[Quote]
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>>104093>>104092IP reset again award
№104096[Quote]
>>104090captain science drinks soylent that been modified to only contain proteins and testosterone (its a gym only special or something) he then wanders around town to see if theres anyone in need of heckin saving or some bad guys to be stopped
№104098[Quote]
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>>104096You take some gym exclusive soystosterone™, this instantly amps up your testosterone levels by 50%, you are no longer a soyfacing soyboy and you gain some muscle.
The trio heads out into the night in search of people to save and bad guys to stop.
Near the centre of shartenburg you find a bunch of stars of david painted on the walls.
The Merchant or his followers must have been here…
№104100[Quote]
>>104098enter the building
№104101[Quote]
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>>104100Captain Science and feraljak enter the building while colorjak stays outside because of his large size.
You equip your weapons as you enter a room with an unbearable smell, more stars of david are cluttered on the walls.
You see it…
The dead body of a man, ripped in half and hanged to the ceiling.
>OOIIII!!! OH MY FAUCI!!!<What le actual FUCK!? №104102[Quote]
>>104101call the SPD (shartenburg police department)
№104103[Quote]
>>104101They are trying to forcefully convert good Christian to Judaism, ponder feraljak
№104104[Quote]
Up
№104105[Quote]
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>>104102>>104103You call the shartenburg police department, as this is a heinous crime.
Officer fatjak responds.
<what’s the emergency>There fucking is a fucking dead fucking body at 1844 gemsooty st, please do something pleasepleaseplease<all avalible assets are on the wayThe police will arrive to your location in 3 turns.
Meanwhile, feraljak thinks about what could have happened.
>They must be trying to convert all christians of shartenburg into jews, and if they don’t comply, they kill them №104106[Quote]
>>104105captain science leaves the building because he's a little pussy cracka who's scared of seeing dead people, while feraljak continues using his 1337 thinking skills
№104107[Quote]
>>104105also, didn't you say you were going to take a break for a few days? did you change your mind?
№104108[Quote]
>>104107I have more time on my hands today than expected, im unsure about tomorrow
№104110[Quote]
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It turns out the testosterone boost did not make captain science any braver, so he quickly leaves the building in a rush.
<why are you running?
>There is a heckin dead body there!
<oh…
Feraljak keeps using his thinking skills to try to figure out the bigger picture.
>These jews must be trying to make an army of converted christians, maybe they want to start a new goon gang? They must have a leader who they all obey…
№104111[Quote]
>>104110Forgot to reply to
>>104106 award
№104112[Quote]
>>104110captain science starts hallucinating (probably because his body has lot's of testosterone, which he didn't have much of for a very long time), he looks at the window where the dead body is and he sees a bird from Serina, it starts speaking in english, and it says that "HE" is going to come soon, captain science shits his pants a little from fear, and starts crying like a selfish little fuck (btw, "HE" is not the merchant, nor commander coal, "HE" is a completely different entity)
№104113[Quote]
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>>104112>>104112You start feeling strange, you begin hallucinating, maybe because of the testosterone dose.
You look at the window above you, you see a strange bird, it’s a
Tigercrow from a place called Serina, but you have no way of knowing this.
>HE will come soon and this reality will be at risk…>wait…what?You shit your pants and begin crying like a selfish little pissbaby, colorjak gets very confused.
<Marge? №104114[Quote]
>>104112Speaking of Commander Coal, there will be a cutscene where he is introduced soon…
№104115[Quote]
>>104113captain science pulls his phone out, he watches some family guy and browses /fit/ to calm his nerves and hopefully feel better
№104117[Quote]
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>>104115You pull out your phone to calm your nerves a bit. You watch some family guy© and browse /fit/ for a while.
The police arrives next turn! №104118[Quote]
>>104117go back inside the building and goon your TWP a little bit
№104119[Quote]
>>104117also why did it take you more than an hour to make this geg
№104120[Quote]
>>104119I have been making models for the cutscene and other things
№104121[Quote]
>>104120The cutscene will happen right after next turn
№104123[Quote]
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>>104118You go back to the room where feraljak still stands and ponders what could have happened.
You goon your tiny pecker a bit, for no apparent reason.
<uhmm, maybe you shouldn’t be doing that in this situation…Feraljak says.
The shartenburg police department finally arrive on the outside, officer fatjak and 3 other cops approach colorjak.
>hey, i know you, you were fighting with cobman in the Goon Gang hq!<yes, but i don’t really want to talk about it…>so where is the dead body?<inside of there is guess, i didn’t check №104124[Quote]
>>104123captain science finishes gooning, he starts hallucinating a bit again, he looks over to the right, where the dead body is, he sees a shadowy Adam Mokraine near the body, Adam lunges at CS and jumpscares him before disappearing, CS falls to the ground and almost vomits from how scary it was, it's just like muh five knights at cobsons scary horror games!!!
№104125[Quote]
>>104123also are you the creator of admin 6 adventure 2.5? ya kuchh aur
№104127[Quote]
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Loading cutscene…
№104128[Quote]
>>104126wait… you aren't the creator or A6A? shit… i was gonna include some stuff about it, but i guess ill pass on that for a while
№104129[Quote]
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(Cutscene, not interactive)
The forces of Commander Coal are preparing to siege the capitol, in camp coal and it’s underground tunnels they train for their mission.
Commander Coal is giving a speech to the army.
>IN 24 HOURS WE STRIKE! With the help of our souveniers that we took from the national guard we will surround the capitol and demand that soot resigns, if he refuses then we storm into the capitol and cut his head off, then this city will be ”liberated”!
In the tunnels, the army is training, they practice their aim and test their weapons.
The plans have been approved, they will attack during the night after this one.
The soyvil war is near
№104130[Quote]
>>104128I have read the admin 6 adventures and i will know most of the things you are talking about, but you should probably wait with dimension hopping stuff until later
№104131[Quote]
>>104130yeah alright, also, did you download the assets that the OP of A6A put in the thread? just asking oy veylgo
№104133[Quote]
>>104132aw sheeeit… well ok then
№104134[Quote]
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>>104124You finish gooning, then you hallucinate again.
Something strange that you have never seen before appears near the body.
It lunges at you and jumpscares you, just like in Five nights at cobson’s, the next moment it is gone.
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!<Marge? Why did you jump like that? №104135[Quote]
>>104134tell him you are schizoing out or something along those lines
№104136[Quote]
>>104134you get teleported to bucks drop pod from halo 3 odst, get aped by a grunt, shit on the floor, and die
№104137[Quote]
>>104136who tf does this nigga think he is :skull: :skull: :skull:
№104139[Quote]
>>104138whip out your phone and download the tor browser so you can use the dark web, also when are le police gonna come in?
№104140[Quote]
>>104139They come in once you prompt it
№104141[Quote]
>>104140well ok, then they will come in after you download tor o algo asi
№104142[Quote]
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>>104139>>104141You whip out your phone to download tor browser, you don’t want to do this, but it feels like something is forcing you to do it.
The police enter the room before you can download tor.
>so is this what you were talking about?>yeah>those symbols…i know exactly who did this… №104143[Quote]
>>104142go outside and finish downloading tor (so they don't think you are a schizo psycho murderer for downloading it)
№104144[Quote]
>>104142also trust me, the tor thing will be worth it for supplies weapons and stuff like that, trust the plan patriots
№104145[Quote]
'em, I might participate is this advthread like the other legendary advthreads i read about in the 'ki or something>>104114
>>104114 №104146[Quote]
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>>104143You push past the police and exit the room, so they won’t see you download tor.
>WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?<don’t question it, he has been acting strange latelyYou go outside to finish download tor, just like cobman 100% would have done.
№104147[Quote]
>>104146now that you have installed tor, go back inside and help the police or something
№104148[Quote]
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>>104147After finishing downloading tor you go back to the room.
>What in Soot’s name were you doing outside?>i uuhm went to the toilet..>ok…^I HAVE FOUND THE IDENTITY OF THE DEAD MAN!Another cop shouts.
№104149[Quote]
>>104148listen to the cop or something o algo
№104152[Quote]
>>104150captain science and his team head out deciding that they need to recruit someone who has specializes in fighting
(((they))) feraljak mentions some /pol/ clittycell named "Chud man" or something like that, he heard of him on reddit and he that might help them fight the happy merchants. the trio head to chud man's house and cave (his mother's basement)
№104153[Quote]
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>>104152Now that you know the gravitation of the situation, you head out and let the police do their work.
<There is this guy from reddit, he calls himself Chud man, maybe he could be useful against (((them)))?>let’s go find him<first we must get my carThe trio goes to feraljak’s car, it is still parked in front of the gym, then they drive it along the red path on the map and to Chud man’s home.
After driving for 3 hours they arrive at his home outside of shartenburg.
№104155[Quote]
>>104153knock on the door and chud man's mom opens the door
№104156[Quote]
Gn
№104157[Quote]
gn
№104158[Quote]
>>104156good night SAAAAAAAR
№104160[Quote]
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>>104155You knock on the door and an elderly woman opens the door.
>who are you all supposed to be?>We are the heckin Science Squad!>ok then… №104162[Quote]
>>104160Ignore prompts above and ask the senior citizen if they could see chudman
№104163[Quote]
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>>104160(Save this prompt later)
The team met chudman and he was a dedicated larper that pour 1/3 of his salary to acquire authentic equipment
№104164[Quote]
>>104161Rolling, if this reply ends with the number 1 or 9 i will include this prompt.
№104166[Quote]
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>>104162>Chudman lives here, right?Chudman’s mom gets a bit angry.
>My son calls himself that, how the hell do you know about him?What should you say to her?
№104167[Quote]
>>104166feraljak tells xher that he is a high ranking CIA agent and a hangmanrope gangster parroting puppet of the Communist Gangster Computer God or something
№104168[Quote]
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>>104167Feraljak goes full schizo mode.
<well, i am a high ranking CIA agent and radio slave for the Communist Gangster Government and con-artist Parroting Puppet Gangster-playboy god, SO LET. ME. IN!>…Chudman’s mom shuts the door in shock.
Feraljak gets REALLY mad.
>FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- №104169[Quote]
>>104168kick the door down
№104170[Quote]
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>>104169Angered, Feraljak kicks down the door.
<LET’S GET TO CHUDMAN!Captain Science has a realization, you are about to conduct a break in, you are supposed to be the heckin’ hero, and you are about to break into someones house just to recruit some person that you don’t even know will be useful or even want to work with you.
Should you really do this? №104171[Quote]
Ya kuch auur
№104172[Quote]
>>104170go back to your car and drive back to the gym again so captain science can use his new fitness knowledge he gained from lurking on /fit/ on his phone instead of breaking into someones house like a psycho
№104173[Quote]
>>104172I think its starting to get a bit too much back and forth between the same locations but ok.
№104174[Quote]
>>104173Don’t reply to this, i don’t want to start any argument
№104175[Quote]
>>104173yeah but xhe's gotta be strong to be a hero or something
№104176[Quote]
>>104170Captain science tell the elderly that feraljak is just schizo and clear up the understanding
№104177[Quote]
>>104176Contradictory prompt. I would have rolled on what prompt to do but i have already finished the images for the gray ID’s prompt.
№104178[Quote]
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>>104172You give up on getting Chudman on your team, as you have decided that it is not worth it.
The trio drives back to the gym, they arrive there early in the morning.
Colorjak says
^Are you sure about this? I don’t think it matters how much muscle you gain…that Coal guy has actual military grade weapons(Colorjak is represented by purple text from now on to not confuse him with feraljak)
№104179[Quote]
>>104178do a ton of chin ups and press ups for a while so your upper body (arms and torso) becomes gigachad tier
№104180[Quote]
>>104178btw, with his elite /fit/ knowledge, xhe will become a BVLL quickly, and might actually stand a chance
№104181[Quote]
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>>104179>>104180You ignore colorjak and do a shit ton of chin ups and press ups for some time.
Once you are done you gain a somewhat gigachad esque physique.
№104182[Quote]
>>104181eat some sigma protein powder straight from ohio and agartha with the joker on it and a bunch of other schizo shit, and drink some fat-free A2 milk so you can calciummaxx for the next schizo excersize, then, continue with the chin ups and press ups until you finally reach gigachad tier physique
№104183[Quote]
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>>104182You eat some ohio protein powder(never goon edition), the image of the joker makes you think about a certain other
clown, who you belive Cobman heroically defeated in goon HQ, but in reality went to another universe and then got killed by a vengeful Chud terrorist in goonerhell.
You then drink some A2 milk, then you work out for several hours. Once you are done you Finally have a gigachad physique.
The milk and the powder are now stored in your inventory, incase you need them again.
№104184[Quote]
>>104183now that you are done with the chin ups and press ups, it's time for the next exercise (more like extra fries geeeeg) which is John Wood's bone density training, which will make your bones dense and tough and hard as fuck, the milk also contains lot's of calcium, which will speed up the process by a lot
№104185[Quote]
>>104184oh, and it will make them bigger too, not only that, but if you complete it, you will also grow an inch in height cause of your larger bones
№104186[Quote]
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>>104184>>104185You do some bone density training for another few hours, this makes your bones denser and tougher, your bones also get bigger, you are no longer fat, you are now BIG BONED.
№104187[Quote]
I did NOT take 2 hours to make that btw
№104188[Quote]
>>104186finally, you do one more quick exercise (it only takes like less than 5 minutes) to untighten your psoas muscle, which will make you not be a pussy ass bitch like before and will stop the hallucinations you were having, and will heal ptsd and shit (which you probably don't have) and a bunch of other mental benefits and shit
№104189[Quote]
>>104187also wtf were you doing all that time?
№104190[Quote]
>>104189I needed a rest, i don’t work on this every single minute all day
№104192[Quote]
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>>104188You do a quick exercise to untighten your psoas muscle, this somehow makes you less of a pussy than before and stops the hallucinations.
>let’s stop some bad guys!You are ready, but so is Someone else…
№104193[Quote]
>>104192>but so is Someone else…oh no no no… is it captain coal?
№104194[Quote]
>>104193Goonclown's vengeful spirit from A6 Adventure
Niggersatan is impressed by Goonclown's virility and sends him back to Shartenberg to do his gooning schemes like that time in Boondocks Stinkmeaner got sent back to earth to terrorize niggers
№104195[Quote]
>>8912180
goonGODS… is this true?
№104196[Quote]
also who is coming? is it captain coal? please answer me saar
№104197[Quote]
>>104194Are you the author of ’dmin 6? If so i will take your prompt. The ”Someone else” i was reffering to was the merachant btw. Im working on a cutscene that reveals his plans.
№104198[Quote]
>>104196It’s the Merchant, and i did not say that he was coming, just that he was ready
№104199[Quote]
>>104197i don't think that's the author bro… also thank's for telling me who's ready saaaaar
№104200[Quote]
From now on, i will interact less for a bit, i have said enough
№104201[Quote]
Goonclown’s ghost will return, but won’t really do anything until halloween
№104202[Quote]
>>104201>it's officalgoonGODS… we are so fucking back…
№104203[Quote]
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Loading cutscene…
№104204[Quote]
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(Cutscene, not interactable)
In the secret hideout of the (((gorillionaries))), the Merchant is showing his plan to his minions.
>While Commander Coal is doing the dirty work of taking down Soot, you will distract the police by breaking into the bank and breaking out the prisoners from the camp, while this is happening, the special team will sneak into the gemcave and steal Soot’s secret project! Then we will be unstoppable! MWAHAHAHA!
They will strike at night, right after Commander Coal…
№104205[Quote]
>>104204With camp i meant to type colony
№104206[Quote]
meanwhile chudman (also known as leaking clittycel) while browsing LE HECKINRINO DEEP WEB ALT RIGHT FORUMS gains knowledge of the merchan't's plan (not the full one just the bank robbery n shiet) so he gets his bulletproof vest and his ar15 with way too much attachments and heads out into the night all the while flipping his nana off (CAPTAIN SCIENCE VILL GET A NEW PARTY MEMBER)
№104207[Quote]
>>104206What part of not interactable don't you understand
№104208[Quote]
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>>104194(Still cutscene)
Niggerhell, ’dmin 6 Universe…
After he got ACK’ed by the Chud terrorist, Goonclown’s sprit wandered niggerhell ever since, but now Niggersatan wants to send him BACK…
>You know what to do..>yeas~The devil snaps his fingers and the ghost of Goonclown is teleported to shartenburg…
>Can i get an applause? Anyone?XHE HAS RETURNED! №104209[Quote]
>>104207You can’t interact with the cutscene but you can make new scenes
№104210[Quote]
>>104207kys you cunt i didnt even reply to the cutscene in my prompt fuck off tranny
№104211[Quote]
>>104208blud is william afton, xhe came back like three times at this point, nigga is a fundamental part of reality fr fr ong
№104212[Quote]
>>104208blud thinks hes tricky from madness combat
№104213[Quote]
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>>104163>>1042066 turns ago…
Just a few minutes after the trio left the scene, Chudman(goofy ahh design from ohio) exited the house after learning about what’s going on in Shartenburg.
He flipped of his mom and headed towards shartenburg.
It has been atleast 5 hours since then, so Chudman is much closer now…
№104214[Quote]
>>104213meanwhile, captain science exits the gym, he will now be walking/running on his toes instead of walking normally, after doing this for a little while, his legs should be buff and strong just like his arms are, the sigma ohio joker protein will shorten the time needed for his legs to get ripped and buff
№104215[Quote]
>>104214he also orders a heckin limited edition cobman and waycob figurines as a reward for himself
№104216[Quote]
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>>104214>>104215You exit the gym and start running on your toes as fast as you can, after a while your legs are just as buff and strong as your arms, as the protein powder amplifies your training.
Now you almost look like Cobman after he drank the aryan vril.
You then go on the official website of cob comix™ and order a limited edition XL Cobman action figure and an XXL Waycob figure.
№104217[Quote]
Bed time award
№104218[Quote]
>>104216captain science trains his reflexes and reaction speed by arguing with heckin trolls and cobman haters online anticipating their responses and typing out a soy filled rageful argument in split seconds before they respond
>>104217goodnight op see you tommorow
№104219[Quote]
>>104216CS begins mewing so he can have a chad jawline
>>104217good night saar
№104220[Quote]
>>104213Chudman took a detour and ended up near the bank because he believes that's where the Jew will come out to enact their evil plan so he hid in plain sight waiting
№104221[Quote]
Cucked.com
№104223[Quote]
Test
№104224[Quote]
>>104223Are you using mobile data or just having a dynamic IP
№104228[Quote]
>>104227Well, his deletion password shouldn't have changed, so…
№104231[Quote]
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>>104218>>104219You train your reflexes by arguing with cobman hating chudcels on shartenchan.org.
You type a long and soy-filled response to a cobman hater thread.
>cobman was a real hero who did real hero things like defeating the goon gang, how dare you argue against him you stupid fucking chud. cobman defeated goon gang and if he hadn't we'd all be speaking gooneese so please accept cobman as a true icon and hero NOW!You then mew and eventually you gain a gigachad-esque jawline.
№104232[Quote]
>>104231open up tor on your phone and go to the 1337 /x/ board on some super obscure darkweb imageboard (not the 'cuck)
№104233[Quote]
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>>104220Chudman arrives at the Shartenburg bank, he hides behind a building in anticipation of the jews coming to rob the bank.
№104234[Quote]
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>>104232You open up tor browser and go to the /x/ board on a very bone-chilin spine-tingling slowburn darkweb imageboard called spookykun.net.
Perhaps you could find some help there?
№104235[Quote]
>>104234You get
glowniggered №104236[Quote]
>>104234after scrolling for a while, you find a spell that can turn your TWP into a juicy 12 inch BWC, you grab a red crayon that was on the ground and you draw a shitty pentagram, you step onto it and you say some nonsense schizo chants, after you finish the chant, the pentagram starts glowing and your twp grows into a 12 inch BWC
№104237[Quote]
>>104234don't do this
>>104235 i couldn't finish my prompt because i was on the toilet and i shat out a huge turd and was on my phone sorry
№104238[Quote]
>>104237that's why it took so long to write
№104239[Quote]
>>104235arent the glowniggers on xir side though?
№104240[Quote]
>>104239spookykun is a
honeypot or something
№104241[Quote]
>>104234you make a party recruitment thread and get 2 replies from 2 spookykun.net namefags one was called the headless jakkman and the other went under the alias frankenjak they both were interested in helping captain science because they had nothing better to do on a october day or something
№104242[Quote]
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>>104235>>104236The SPD pick up the the signal of you being on the darkweb and track your location, they consider
glowniggering you, but officer fatjak, who has returned from the crime scene by now, intervenes.
>he is our ally, you can’t do that because…you just can’t ok!You find a cock extension spell on spookykun and you draw a pentagram with a crayon that you found on the ground.
>elongus dongus, biggus dickus!Nothing happens.
As it turns out, standing in a pentagram drawn with a crayon and shouting a bunch of random nonsense won’t add inches to your cock.
№104243[Quote]
>>104242a scrawny looking demon from niggerhell manifests near you because xhe saw the pentagram
№104244[Quote]
>>104243(not niggersatan btw, just a regular demon)
№104245[Quote]
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>>104241>>104243You open up spookykun again and post a thread asking new people to join your party so the heckin bad guys can be defeated.
2 namefags reply, they both want to join, as they have nothing better to do.
If everything goes according to plan they will arrive in 10 turns.
A niggerdemon manifests near you in a cloud of black smoke after xhe saw the pentagram.
>ayo nigga are you trying to summon me or something? The demon approaches you.
№104246[Quote]
>>104245you rape and cum inside the demon and proceed on with your adventures
№104247[Quote]
>>104245use your sigma ohio looksmaxxing rizz to subdue xim and then rape xim
№104248[Quote]
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>>104246>>104247You use your sigma rizz to subdue the niggerdemon, then you rape xim so hard that xis asshole starts bleeding.
The demon passes out from the rape.
You can now proceed with the adventure, you have 3 options on what to do.
>go to the capitol and warn soot of the imminent capitol siege>scout out coal encampment>stay at the gym for some reasonTime to roll, if the post number of the next post ends with no repeating digits then it’s the first option, if repeating digits then it’s the second, if it ends with the number 5, repeating digits or not, it’s option 3
№104249[Quote]
>>104248soot pleas soot save us
№104251[Quote]
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>>104249You arrive at the capitol to warn Soot about Commander Coal.
It was in this exact location that colorjak met Cobman for the first time.
^i remember…Colorjak gets a flashback to when he met the cobgang in the gooncar.
№104252[Quote]
>>104251an obsessed shitalian shows up and xhe starts speaking spanish
№104253[Quote]
>>104251Holy canoli, when are the commanders Coal army will arrive ?
№104254[Quote]
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>>104252As you are about to walk towards the capitol, a really big and obsessed spanish-italian man interupts you.
>Mira este imitador de Cobman, vine aquí para admirar la estatua de Cobman y ahora estás aquí, ¿por qué copias a Cobman o algo así?>What? I don’t speak japanese №104256[Quote]
>>104254dance with him and hug him
№104257[Quote]
>>104254After hugging the shitalian , CS and his team enter the building to warn soot
№104258[Quote]
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>>104256You do some italian and spanish dances with the humongous shitalioko.
>Esto es lo mejor que me ha pasado desde que obligo a los Gooners a comer takis o algo así.Should the shitalian join your party?
№104259[Quote]
>>104258sure, let 'em join, we need as much help as possible
№104260[Quote]
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>>104257>>104259THE SHITALIAN JOINS YOUR PARTY!You reach the door to the capitol, it is guarded by two SIA(shartenburg intelligence agancy) glowniggers.
>please let us in pleasepleaseplease>*sigh* let them inYou enter the Shartenburg capitol and walk by a large Cobman statue.
№104261[Quote]
>>104260go to soot's office
№104262[Quote]
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>>104261After searching for it for a while, the party enters a room filled with offices, one of them have the label mayor, this must be it.
>YESYESYESYESYou have never been this excited before, you will finally meet soot, the person you admire the most, after Cobman of cource.
№104263[Quote]
>>104262before entering CS does some pelvic exercises and jelqing to increase his johnson size by 3 inches now having a heckin 5.1 inch big hero johnson CS Now considers himself worthy enough to meet soot in person so he enters the office
№104264[Quote]
>>104262do some neck exercises too, so your neck would be strong, and you will have a deeper and chadlier voice to rizz people up even more
№104265[Quote]
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>>104263>>104264You decide that you are not enough gigachad-esque yet to meet Soot in person, so you do some pelvic exercises and jelqing, this gives you a 5.1 inch schlong.
You then do some neck exercises to make your neck stronger and give you a deeper voice.
You pull the door handle with your limited edition plastic infinity gaunlet…
№104268[Quote]
>>104266Lil nigger I would rape you if he actually do that prompt
№104269[Quote]
>>104265Have colorjak keep an eye out for enemies while you enter the office.
Acknowledge the colorjak to Soot so he knows that he's a friend
>>104266>>104268Actually do that prompt, but Soot is actually mourning at Cobman's grave, so there's a nigger in the office as a red herring for kidnappers (or groomers, or rapists)
№104270[Quote]
>>104269You contradicted yourself
№104271[Quote]
>>104270Im not mad, i only sage because i don’t want people to reply to it
№104272[Quote]
>>104270He changed his mind so do the latter prompts
№104273[Quote]
Up nigger
№104274[Quote]
bumoing
№104275[Quote]
>>104265CS warn soot/nigger of impeding commander coal attack and in response he called as many officers to guard the capitol (useless attempts as the merchant squad will draw most of them away before the siege commence)
<Reddit spacing Captain science with soot/nigger authority then tell the guards to barricade window and flip over tables and furniture to use as cover while the mayor requested for airdrop of supplies such as weapon , ammunition, armour and a large Kevlar mask for colourjak to wear which will be dropped on the roof before the siege
№104276[Quote]
>>104265Captain science then proceed to gather supplies from around the capitol to create following gadgets:
>thanos gauntlet with four of its finger welded together except for the thumb retrofited with deconstructed stun gun on the knuckle that activate by curling all finger into a fist and strapped with taser on the upper part of the gauntlet that fires retractable needle pin wires which deliver lethal level of watts (5 meter range)>Paintball filled with ultra spicy sauce >A flashgun that beam high energy photon that momentarily blind the opponent (10 meter range)>Modified old crossbow that shoots saw blade at high speed <Reddit spacing Meanwhile feraljak switch his weapon for classic 1911 with hollow round munitions and both CS and him wear Kevlar vest for extra protection
№104277[Quote]
YOU VILL FOLLOW ALL THESE PROMPTS
YOU VILL RECEIVE ANOTHER LARGE PROMPT ABOUT COMMANDER COAL ARMY IN DETAIL
YOU VILL MAKE THIS THREAD GEMMY
№104278[Quote]
>>104275>>104276blud wrote a whole ass novel
№104280[Quote]
>>104279well see about that, cracka ass wyteboi
№104281[Quote]
IM NOT WHITE
№104283[Quote]
Wake the fuck up OP , I know you're there
№104284[Quote]
>>104283i think xhe's dead…
№104285[Quote]
I will split the stuff above into several posts.
I probably won’t include every single thing.
This will take a while, don’t reply until i have posted it all.
№104286[Quote]
>>104283I was away from home for several hours.
№104287[Quote]
>>104285>>104286good morning saar!
№104288[Quote]
>>104286Yeah but I'm not done yet , I already compile another slowburn a24 award winning essay about commander coal and his army also capitol guard outnumbered him btw
№104289[Quote]
Just finished reading your cobman adventure, it's gemmy
№104290[Quote]
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>>104269>>104275TURN 1/3, DO NOT REPLY YETYou open the door and enter Soot’s office.
In the office you see…
A NIGGER!>errrrm, isn’t soot supposed to be here?>he be somewhere else, so i sit here and do his work in da meantime or some sheitIt turns out that soot is currently mourning at Cobman’s grave, just like you were doing at the beginning of the adventure, what unfortunate timing.
>please, mr POC, some guy named Commander Coal will attack the capitol and heckin kill soot, you must do something>i have been hearin sum words about that shiet, i will order da coppas and da national guard to come here, i also gon’ bring in sum supplies and sheit №104292[Quote]
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>>104275TURN 2/3It has been some hours, and now nightfall is nearing.
The police, led by officer fatjak and the national guard have arrived at the capitol, some tanks are present.
Captain Science has told the guards to barricade the windows and flip over some furniture to Prepare for the siege.
A plane airdrops the supplies on the roof, this will be useful once the the battle begins.
№104293[Quote]
Next turn will take a while
№104295[Quote]
>>104291Shut the fuck up you annoying nigger and go leak somewhere else
№104297[Quote]
>>104296Possibly queued until after turn 3
№104298[Quote]
>>104297bruh does duke nukem even exist in this universe?
№104300[Quote]
>>104299Will slide in my next prompt after the police went away leaving the capitol
№104301[Quote]
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>>104276You gather some supplies that you find in the capitol, you pile it up and then cobble it together.
Here are the gadgets that you create:
>modified infinity gaunlet>spicy sauce paintball(can only be used once)>flashgun>crossbow that shoots saw bladesFeraljak replaces the cucked revolver with a classic 1911 that the police gave him or something.
Who will get what gadget? First reply decides.
№104303[Quote]
>>104245These niggas will arrive to shartenburg after next turn
№104304[Quote]
>>104301CS obviously getting the gauntlet and flashgun, feraljak take the ball , colourjak get saw blade crossbow
№104305[Quote]
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>>104301(You know what I lied , imma dump these prompt for you to sort it out after the police was drawn away due to the merchant squad hitting the bank and prison colony early and commander coal army arrived)
Standing outside the capitol is commander coal and his army of 25 foot soldier, through the combination of inhuman strength from his hard training and exoskeleton assistance, he now wielding rocket launcher that's shoot four rocket on his right hand and swap his left hook with belt fed machine gun arm , he had one man serving as his munitions carriers and reloader for his rocket launcher (blud thinks he's nemesis from RE3)
№104306[Quote]
by now the two spookychan users that have accepted captain science's request for help arrive outside the capitol having a marge moment on what is happening
№104307[Quote]
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>>104305aint readin all that lil bro
№104308[Quote]
>>104307Um it was boring if the strength of the enemies were kept vague so don't be SLF
№104309[Quote]
>>104301(do this prompt for when the capitol refuse their demands)
In the face of staunch refusal , commander coal had his men of four carrying a rpg to blow open the windows and another four to launch smoke grenade with grenade launcher inside the window, four squad squad of four men will grapple and climb either of the blown four window with each of them having a certain role (total 16 enemies entering the compound) :
Assault : carry a M16 rifle and three grenade
Support : carry a RPD light machine gun and a bag of ammo to supply his team
Scout : carry a MP5 submachine gun and a grounded drone unit to scan for hostile combatants
Medic : carry a benelli m4 and medkit
№104310[Quote]
>>104298Giving you a head ups , colourjak could shoot laser from his eyes and that shitalian fellow could eat blue cheese to activate his massive brap
№104311[Quote]
Now with all said and done imma go to sleep and wakes up few hour later or something
№104312[Quote]
(final prompt I swear , just need to get it off my chest)
One of the merchant's man disguised as prison guard kills the guard controlling the cell and pull the emergency release which open all the prisoners cell ,he radio in on his allies to start the breakout which the latter crash into the prison gate with an armoured truck carrying 10 of his buddies . The imposter then rally the prisoner into starting the riot to overwhelm the remaining wardens
№104313[Quote]
>>104312few notable prisoners are: cecefem, kuz, averi, and some obsessed nigger called the prophet of admin 6
№104314[Quote]
>>104313Definitely not a bunch that chudman could recruit but wait why is kuz in there ?
№104315[Quote]
>>104314Kuz is a pedo lil bro…but in cobman lore kuz got arrested for trying to heckin usurp soot but failed as his kolymanetwork buddies got shot and kuz was arrested for treason and possesion of 'p
№104316[Quote]
>>104315Ok all of them are dangerous miniboss (except the prophet) with their corrupted follower of their own , trooncaca, citizen infected with averi furry virus and new kolyma militia
№104317[Quote]
This is getting too much.
I don’t even know what order i will do all of these in
№104318[Quote]
>>104316and all of them are under the authority of captain coal
№104320[Quote]
everyone prompts are paused for the moment so shut up and let OP work u obessed slfs
№104321[Quote]
Shartenburg will burn with the escapees causing massive chaos stretching both national guard and police force even thinner with chudman mother will become one of the victim
№104322[Quote]
>>1043172 new recruits arrived > prison colony breakout > police drawn away > commander coal arrived
The bank robbery one can wait
№104323[Quote]
I will post one more turn before i head to bed(i took a break because i was out of energy irl)
№104324[Quote]
>>104323I might be able to do two
№104325[Quote]
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>>104304Captain science equips the gaunlet(no shit) and the flashgun, the flashgun is stored in the inventory as a secondary gun as you already have a shotgun on you.
Feraljak equips the ball and colorjak equips the brossbow(in his mouth o algo)
Unfortunatly for him, the shitalian gets nothing.
№104326[Quote]
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>>104306The spookykun namefags, headless jakkman and frankenjak arrive in front of the capitol.
Frankenjak asks officer fatjak
>Marge? What is going on here? Are you the ones who recruited us?Fatjak responds with
>We are ummm….renovating this place, by the way the guy who recruited you on that app is on the inside of the building №104327[Quote]
>>104326great job OP now get some sleep ill see ya tommorow
№104329[Quote]
Wake-up sleepyhead
№104330[Quote]
>>8937495
tsmt
№104331[Quote]
>>8937568
thats fine doe beit
№104332[Quote]
>>8937764
What if CS team and caption coal just fight outside instead of all that raisin
№104333[Quote]
>>8937796
do it without the unnecessary details maine its fine
№104334[Quote]
>>8937812
its not that much of a issue just do only the necessary actions without the raisinty details maine
№104335[Quote]
blud is deleting everything
№104336[Quote]
I’m sorry, but i quit the adventure. I pushed myself to my limits and i just don’t find it as fun as when i ran cobman adventure. I just think this thread is a waste of my time and bad for my mental health.
№104337[Quote]
Don’t chive the thread. It is no longer canon to the cobman universe.
№104338[Quote]
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kys
№104339[Quote]
>>104305Thanks for mindbreaking me and making me quit.
№104340[Quote]
atleast do a asset dump so someone can continue it
№104342[Quote]
>>104340No, i want the matter to be finished. This thread should be forgotten.
№104343[Quote]
Do you want to know the truth?
№104345[Quote]
I never liked running this adventure, i only did it because i promised to do it so i forced myself into doing it.
№104346[Quote]
I denounce adventure threads.
№104347[Quote]
>>104345do u regret doing the first one doe
№104348[Quote]
I don’t care about what you feel
№104349[Quote]
GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEG ITS THE GUY WHO SPAMMED SCAT IN DMIN 6 THREAD
№104350[Quote]
how about you denounce the talmud, kike
№104351[Quote]
WELL DONE SAAR YOU BAITED ME WELL
№104352[Quote]
Two steps ahead. I am always two steps ahead. This has been the greatest social experiment I’ve come to know. Certainly the greatest social experiment of my entire life. It’s alluring, it’s compelling, it’s gripping, to bear witness, to observe all these unwell, unbalanced disoriented beings roam the internet in search of stories.
№104353[Quote]
FROM THE BEGINNING ALL OF IT WAS BAIT THIS NIGGA DIDNT EVEN MAKE THE OG COBMAN ADVENTURE..
№104354[Quote]
>>104353Wasn’t it obvious?
№104355[Quote]
>>104354the most high effort bait i have ever seen, congrats
№104356[Quote]
>>104354did u learn how to do adventure threads just to do this raisin
№104360[Quote]
insane social experiment 4d chess move…
№104361[Quote]
At my request, move this thread to /bait/ because this entire ducking thread was bait
№104363[Quote]
NOW THE QUESTION IS…where did the original cobman creator go
№104364[Quote]
move this thread to bait and pin it
№104365[Quote]
you deserve it
№104366[Quote]
>>104361Can you at least have Commander Coal Take over Shartenberg?
№104368[Quote]
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>everyone got filtered by the 15 minute timer
>jewno bots the get
>frogs gegging like mad
№104370[Quote]
E
№104371[Quote]
up
№104373[Quote]
vp