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/news/ - Soy News

The only news (You) need to hear
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 315[Reply]

/soon/ is a real board
you need the secret sharty pass from froots gaping asshole to access every board that is “fact checked to be not real”
If your lucky enough to go into his gaping asshole, you may be able to post soons.


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 268[Reply]

Despite outrageous claims, /news/ with the help of the 'arty's gracious janitorial staff and expert soientist fact checkers, has confirmed the /vamplier/. Just think about it logically for fauci's sake. Why would vampires even be 'pleir posters? It is complete unfounded nonsense! As per global rule 9, jannies have been given the authority to ban any 'teens spreading harmful misinformation about /vamplier/. If you know any 'teens personally committing these thought crimes, please report the proper authorities.

YOU WILL STOP TALKING ABOUT /VAMPLIER/!
YOU WILL ONLY USE NEW SPEAK!
YOU WILL KNOW SPREAD MISINFORMATION!

 272

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Pliers of the night rise up!

 295

DOOOOOOLLL MAKE VAMPLIER NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

 309

ROOOOOOOOT STOP ADDING SHITTY BOARDS NOBODY WILL USE

 311

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 312

I can't believe root added r/vamplier



 276[Reply]

it was the jews

 277

once again

 291

oh my fauci put this on the blotter

 304

blotter NOW



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 293[Reply]

peer review studies say that it's true
>finally a patriotic board or something


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 286[Reply]

03/29/24 Friday
Root have been nooteced to be doing favours for controversial known furry thread on /qa/ board which have been on /qa/ since Doll first came into power.
On the archived version of the previous thread when 'teen asked root what was his fursona xe said "Cat or a deer. Both of them make sense".
Many have been speculating whether ROOT is actually a furry leader who is responsible for all anthro-centrist cells that hide in the sharty, presumably waiting for a right time to action. All root=furry soyentists point to the fact that on September 10 board owner of a furry altchan called FurChan.net was named r00t, which, as they say, lead to damage control, after which Root appeared and said that he was not the same person, changing the stylization of his name from "root" to "ROOT."
In a 'teen's thread where rolling dubs leaked an embarrassing post from your history, Root rolled dubs on one of his posts. He complied and linked a post from a /qa/ thread about "sexy poodle" ( >>>/qa/135511 ), revealing that he anonymously made the post. It is unknown if Root made the entire thread or just recent posts.
Conspiracy theory chudcels, however, try to deboonk this by saying that it is all just a site-wide prank to gain attention and (you)s from innocent 'teens. Many argue how sharty makes money and some say it is by selling your data to services such as cloudflare or whatever. Also this furry dog whistles could be the plan to gain more shekels from furfags since they are best known for having infinite money
That was /news/, stay tuned for more info

 288

We are getting reports that there is a secret board which may be responsible for psyops such as operation pokem-ACK and deep inflitration within janitorial team. Investigation continues



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 248[Reply]

BREAKING - /caca/, babybot’s favorite board, is officially hidden and replaced with /yyyyyyy/ on the top bar. This caused them to retailiate and start a raid, in which they have stolen the 500 GET so far.
9 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 269

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>>266
>>Self inserting as chudjak
Not a self-insert albeit, just a filler image and even if it was, we are all self-inserting as chudjak though.

 270

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>>269
>though

 273

>>>269
>>though

 275

long live >>>/caca/

 285

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>>248
baby uprising NOW



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 283[Reply]

BREAKING: GET forecasters predicted that today would be the day that >>>/qa/ would be receiving it’s 255555 GET. Shortly before the GET a ‘teen notified /soy/ of the GET most, after the dust had settled all ‘teens were left with were a missing GET and post number 255556 (a /caca/ GET attempt). Reports range from the GET being ‘p, to the GET being filtered, and even the GET being a nonsense win. More updates expected soon.

 284

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Also in other news relating to missing GETs, the >>>/caca/ 6666 GET is mysteriously missing…



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 280[Reply]

BREAKING: 2 days ago, /caca/ stole nate’s 40,000 GET. This is huge, as it cements /caca/ in sharty history! End of broadcast.

 281

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Xhey also stole the GET on /qa/ since the original was ‘p and ‘nished

 282

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Check >>>/r/



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 182[Reply]

The 6666666 GET has been stolen by poopson
Not posting pic because janny would delete
14 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 215

>>213
it doesn't look like it was recorded

 216


 217


 224

>>205
if only

 274

you didn’t see anything.



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 271[Reply]

the whole thing is just people posting black people cooking other black people, nobody even fucking cooks in /ck/


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