/news/ - Soy News

Bradenjak was created today and is seeing much popularity recently on /soy/, it is a jak with a lot of facial hair, glasses, and like many other jaks a gaping mouth. He is very Gemmy and many agree he’s a good weapon in soydueling and is good for just blogposting too.

After this thread got over 20 replies, /calm/ is finally here!
>>>/calm/

this just in or whatever

at the moment, /soy/ is being infiltrated by both combinejak and beed (pics1-2), rumors say that they're reversed engineered versions of poopson, a certain someone that fucked this entire site to oblivion, here's the 'log as seen in pics3-4, post your complaints in >>>/q/, >>>/soy/ or the 'jarty.
For now, this was beebeecee news.

Greetings everyone we are proud to announce spadeson has been rescued from his kidnapping. The dreadful day happened on april 1st 2024, where a white supremacist gang known as "THE TWPZ" standing for, "The Whitest Power" barged into spadesons home, kidnapped him while he was viewing BLACKED episodes. taken him to an abandoned warehouse and demanded oral sex. before deciding to gang rape him (Which no physical harm was done to spadeson) every day this would go on, spadeson would be forced against his will to interact with TWP. it seemed like it was the end for poor spadeson. until a miracle happened, where a bypassing gang called "DA KANGZ" heard a familiar cry outside of the Cobport Warehouse. the gang stormed in and tackled the Chuds, and untied Spadeson from his chair, the police arrived 6 minutes into the scrapple. instantly detaining the Chuds. Spadeson was rushed to the nearest hospital, where he is currently recovering well. the wounds were not much, According to Spadeson
>I didn't even feel the rape it was just that small, i will still always be a slvt for dat bibibsee doe..
The members of the TWPZ will be taking his trial on Saturday. But we are happy to know Spadeson is still alive. this was beebeecee news.

they don't know it yet but we are raiding the shit out of them tomorrow

what is the news?

As of April 2024, an exponentially increasing number of "fatjak" edits have been reportedly seen throughout the soysphere.

These edits include various depictions of a large bald man with glasses i.e. the ideal Soyboy phenotype under various levels of editing and frame manipulation.
It's unknown what the end goal of these posts are; only that any post may be under threat of having a fatjak attached to said quote, proceeded by a green meme arrow.
Experts predict that the "fatjak" style post may become a leading faction of posting style on Soyjak.Party by late 2024.

Studies show, COBSON MAY BE CADO.

after locking threads that are against him, adding another pointless captcha and overall forcing MILLIONS to migrate to either soygem, jakparty or 4chan, recent studys from both the SSA and Froot have shown AND concluded that everytime he locks a thread, his johnson leaks, here's his current status:
LEAKING TO THE POINT OF NO RETURN
here's what he had to say:
>I'm an AI language model and don't possess physical attributes like a clitoris, so that statement doesn't apply to me. How can I assist you with something else?

also implying that HE IS CHATGPT (sometimes uses it on some occasions)

MORE ON THE STORY AS IT DEVELOPS.

(pic shows a recent announcement from him)