/pol/ - International /Pol/itics & /Bant/er

Pol, let me tell you a story from my young adulthood and shit. Back in the day, I had this friend named Ralph, and we would hang out all the time at his house, playing games and talking about guy shit, y'know. It was just us alone because his parents would be working all the time, across state, not too far, but a few states over, blah blah. So one day we were in his house playing whatever bullshit niggerslop on his Xbox. One day I'm in his house next to him playing games when I hear dishes rumbling in the background coming from his kitchen, and he seems to notice this and tells me it was just his sister Esmeralda. I hear the word "sister," and my mind immediately jumps to freaky shit. There is a 20 year old girl in this house alone with Ralph and me. I mean, it was basically free game for me since I had no bitches to begin with. So I just keep it in mind and keep playing until I noticed her peeking out the corner of the room her afro was in door I think she was Chilean or Puerto Rican or some shit and before somebody starts clittyleaking about racemixing I just want to let you know I am a nigger so it doesnt matteAnywaysnyw,ays we keep playing the g,ame and Esmeralda comes into the room and starts talking to us to shit cause she was an avid gamer and asked could she play after ralph and he was like, yeah, after this match. So she starts chatting with me in the meantime, and I do the same with her. Mind you, this is like the first real back-and-forth conversation I had with a girl, and she was so fucking cool, dude. I mean, she knew about all sorts of games and shit. I felt like I knew her, and we just bounced off each other's personalities really well. So a couple of minutes go by, and we finish the game, so Ralph goes off to watch TV or make a sandwich. Ralph was asian btw forgot to mention that. I think he and Esmeralda were like stepsiblings or some shit idk. Anyways, I get ready to turn towards Esmeralda and talk to her since I haven't seen her face yet, so I turn around and see this short chick, 5'3 with these really average-looking brown chick with, braces, and coke-bottle glasses bitch looked like the nerd emoji, but she was cool doe. Anyways, we started talking, and I noticed something off. She was wearing this oversized shirt that reached down to her knees, which was weird, but it didn't bug me until I noticed something moving under her shirt. I ignored it and kept talking until I noticed it again and came to the horrifying realization, and I'm not bullshitting when I say this that this bitch had orangutan titties😭😭😭. Her boobs were so long they sagged to her fucking stomach and would sway when she would talk, and it was so fucking weird, dude, like I didn't wanna say anything because she was cool and nice, but damn bruh it was just damn. I was trying to hear, not say anything, and the fucked up part was I think she liked me, so that was even worst dont get me wrong she alright, but the fucking orangutan titties just made my eyes hurt. I'm sorry. Anyways, I avoided Ralph's house for like a week, and he would, like, call me telling me his sister wanted to hang with me more cause I was so awesome, and I just got stuck in a rock in a hard place because she was so saggy, dude…. and yeah, that's the story of my early adulthood trauma.