Please get help right now.
You are describing deep depression, rage, severe anxiety, and not wanting to live anymore. That is a crisis. Contact professionals immediately:
In the US: Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) - available 24/7.
Or go to the nearest emergency room / call emergency services.
Internationally:
https://www.iasp.info/suicidalthoughts/ for local resources.
You do not have to handle this alone. Talking to a crisis counselor or mental-health professional is the most important next step.
What you've described-childhood bullying behavior that shifted into quiet withdrawal, repeated betrayals and humiliation, workplace abuse, family tension (especially fear of your father from past road-rage episodes), a recent violent outburst, isolation, loss of purpose, and overwhelming depression + rage + anxiety-is a heavy load. At 23, after years of carrying it quietly, the pressure has become too much. That does not mean you are broken beyond repair; it means the coping strategies that got you this far are no longer enough, and professional support is needed.
Faith (praying to Jesus) has helped you before. If that still feels meaningful, you can keep turning to it, but it does not replace clinical help when the distress is this intense. Your family's atheism does not have to dictate what you do for yourself.
The car-window incident, the sudden increase in talking with your parents, and your dad asking about hallucinations are signs that people around you are noticing something is seriously wrong. Use that opening: keep talking to them if it feels safe, and insist on professional evaluation (therapist, psychiatrist, or crisis team). Trauma, anxiety, depression, and anger can all be treated; untreated they tend to escalate.
You are not required to figure out "what's wrong with me" by yourself in this moment. Right now the priority is safety and support. Reach out to 988 or equivalent local crisis services today. You matter enough to get that help.