/soy/ - Soyjaks

what should i do?

i don't have anything "going on" for me apart from my looks/fitness/muscles and my intelligence. i only have 3 online friends who i don't talk to much because they're not often available. i am home-schooled so i have no social interactions, and when I have the opportunity to interact, i choose work/hobbies over interactions. i tried to go to a club to socialize but because of high school and college application deadlines i didn't go , though i might once the college applications are done. the only non instantaneous pleasures i get is from feeling better than everyone else(followed by feeling being worse than everyone else sometimes), hugging my pillow (which i fantasize is a romantic partner) and hobbies(like building a robot or learning a language). i can't talk to anyone about this because all the people i know are already tired of me. i feel robotic and barely human. i have no idea who i am despite knowing what i think i want (to be perfect and succeed in everything).


i tried asking chatgpt for advice but it just spat out random bullraisin

thoughts?