№66604[Quote]
Today I cried the hardest I have since when my first pet died when I was like 12 today, which is strange considering i usually struggle with crying. I had to quickly pull myself together since I had another class later, though I might continue the session once I've finished writing this. I'm just sick of everything. I hate that I rarely ever get any sort of real human connection at all, and that the only way I can cope with that is through this stupid site. I hate how ugly I am. I hate having to look at my face every day when I shave. I hate how fat I look and feel, no matter how much weight I loose. My BMI is like 19 and I rarely even eat goyslop anymore. If nothing changes in 2 years once I hit 20 I'm acking probably. I can't see myself living my whole life like this, and I don't see the point of just watching the little of what I have left rot and wither away
>But you'll go to le niggerhell
If Christianity is the true relegion, God probably isn't already a fan of me considering how many times I've called him a dumb kike, so I doubt letting myself die of natural causes will make that up. I'm also not that great of a person in general. For one, I'm pretty degenerate. I'm not gooning thrice a day to FPE sprunki ABDL FNF loli porn, but I know you chuds here would probably leak and derail the thread if I ever went into detail on my tastes. I also think that I'm just already inherently evil. Although I try my hardest to be selfless and good to others, I'm never as pure hearted as I want to be, and sometimes it just feels like I'm putting on a facade.
>But your parents will feel le bad
True, and that's probably the main reason why I haven't done it already. They've blown countless dollars on me, and it'd be pretty selfish if I just threw it all away. Then again, I'll probably still let them down one way or another.
№66607[Quote]
>>66604 (OP)Have you thought about ways of possibly turning your life around? Your quite young, killing yourself seems like a pretty extreme decision
№66608[Quote]
>who, in the days of His flesh, when He had offered up prayers and supplications, with vehement cries and tears to Him who was able to save Him from death, and was heard because of His godly fear, though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered.
Hebrews 5:7-8
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It seems like you have sympathy towards Christianity, so I want to assure you that despair does not make you wicked. Even Jesus wept.
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>God probably isn't already a fan of me considering how many times I've called him a dumb kike, so I doubt letting myself die of natural causes will make that up.
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When people say God's love and mercy is infinite, it's meant literally. True repentance is not a one-and-done matter, but it certainly not impossible, no matter your offense.
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>For one, I'm pretty degenerate. I also think that I'm just already inherently evil. Although I try my hardest to be selfless and good to others, I'm never as pure hearted as I want to be, and sometimes it just feels like I'm putting on a facade.
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Recall the story of Paul the Apostle, formerly Saul of Tarsus. He spent his entire early life killing and persecuting Christians, an act I'm sure you'll agree is far more hanus than masturbation. And yet, after a change of heart, he became a key figure in the Early Church and one of the most important and revered people in Christian history. Also recall the Thief on the Cross. He mocked Jesus (perhaps even calling him things along the lines of "dumb kike") at first, but then repented and was forgiven for a lifetime of sin.
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The idea that one's sin is too much for God to forgive is delusional in 3 senses. Firstly, it denies that God is all powerful, all good ("God must be unable to forgive me") and all loving ("God must hate me"), making it theologically unsound. Secondly, it denies the historical examples of God forgiving even the most seemingly unforgivable actions, such as the example I gave, making the belief entirely irrational. Finally, it is only used to justify even more sin, making it a temptation that must be discarded.
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This is all to say that suicide is not worth it, and your life is not over. Our suffering is sanctified via Christ. I'm sorry if this seems like I've given you no practical advice, but I think a change in attitude would be helpful. It will make it easier to suck it up, be a man and handle it.
God bless you soyteen. I will pray for you.
№66781[Quote]
i understand you. i feel ugly too and can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror. i’m probably going to hell too, also cause of degeneracy and just not being that great of a person
№66783[Quote]
>>66608this is some good advice, i'm not the op but reading this has helped me come to terms a little more with my prior porn addiction.
i hope it helps op too
№66941[Quote]
Im not in any way out to give advice
Idc how gay this sounds but I hope shit works out for you